Well I don't have a question but I do have, I guess a confession.
I am turning 25 this week. I am married, have two kids and a mortgage. And although a lot of people would be grateful to have what I have and be where I am, I feel so empty. This could not be farther from where I saw myself being at this age. I love my children. But everyday I live with sadness and regret of how life could have been. On this birthday I will be grateful for two things, cheaper car insurance and being one year closer to the next life. I feel incredibly guilty for feeling/thinking this way but I just can't seem to find peace in the life decisions I've made. I'll never get these years back.
** please do not judge, for I judge myself enough already. It doesn't even matter if no one has anything to say. I just needed to get it off my chest **
7 Replies
I had a birthday where I felt like that. In hindsight I was depressed anyway and my birthday just made it so much worse.
My son was having a really rough time, so I was having a really rough time, on top of that I'd totally lost my independence. I wasn't anywhere near where I had imagined.
Life can get better and maybe your birthday is a time to go do some work so you can find your happy place. Perhaps it's time to give you the gift of counselling.
How about stating to plan some things in advance, like way in advance. You might feel like you are stuck now but I'm sure you have dreams of overseas travel or some bucket list items. You don't have to tell anyone, maybe just buy a scrapbook and every time you see something and think "I wish" cut it out and put it in your book and work on a plan to make it happen. It may not happen soon but if you've got it to look forward to it might make you feel better. You might even open a separate bank account to slowly save for ways to make it a reality:-)
Then get some counselling/talk to someone to help you find peace in what you have and maybe make some steps to be closer to what you want (even if it's not quite the same). It's very hard, I know, to be living so far from what you imagined for yourself; but you don't deserve to be so miserable.
Much love to you. And Happy Birthday! Sometimes we spend way too much time thinking the grass is greener on the other side. And just think about this, someone is looking at your life dreaming it was theirs. The couple that can't have kids, and have tried 10 X through IVF (this is my Aunty), the couple that will never own their own home (friends of ours). WHen you wake up every morning, write down 3 things you're appreciative for. My husband and I do this every day after he suffered from depression a few years ago , and our lives are so positive for it. Try it.
I will be 26 in June. Engaged. 2 kids and a mortgage. We had our first child when i was 19. I could have written your exact post. That is exactly how I feel and how i have felt for years! I don't have any words to help make you feel differently or better, just wanted to let you know, you are not the alone. Xx
I am 26 this year, My son will turn 5 shortly after and my daughter will turn 3 shortly before. I was married at 19 and am now separated (his choice) at 25… but as a single mum with 2 little kids I am making the effort to 'find' me again. I am doing all the things I used to love and taking my kids along on the adventure, I am re connecting with old friends and making the most of life. I know it is tough, but maybe if you try and push yourself to find you and enjoy your time it won't be as bad. Plus, think about it this way, you are young and when your kids are grown up and leaving home, you will be able to spend that time doing things you 'missed out on'.
I am now 28, about to turn 29 and go into my last year in my 20s. I get your post. I have been a mum since 20 and didn't get to spend my 20s as I thought I would. I take comfort in the fact that I am going to rock my 40s because my kids will be grown while others will still be dealing with primary school!