Not a question, my heart just aches.

Hi fellow IM's....I guess I am not looking for advice, I am just feeling low. I have been with my man for 18 months and I suppose it has always been a bit rocky, as I have insecurity issues and was picking fights at first, but then I improved and tried to change for the better. I no longer drink as it wasn't doing me any favours, and I wanted to be a better mum to my two darling children and a better partner. The thing is that my partner has a drinking problem and doesn't see it. I have asked him time after time to limit his intake and he says ok when he is sober but then he drinks and seems to forget his promises to me. It makes me feel insignificant and like I don't matter and last night he kept going and I told him I was through. I have avoided him all day today except when his mother came over for a visit, I played the happy partner. His mum asked him if I was upset and he said yeah cos he had a couple of drinks. A couple!!!! Um he had the equivelant of 3/4 of a carton. I can see he has a drinking problem. Tonight ended in me telling him to get lost because he obviously chosen the beer over me, he got in his car after calling me a fuckwit (he has currently no license after being done by drink driving)....I called him a *unt and he sped off. Haven't heard from him in a few hours.

The thing is, he is a good man. Helps me out a lot, is faithful to a fault. I don't expect he will see my side of things....I get uneasy because my father was an alcoholic and I haven't seen him in 10 years.

I just think I have lost my man to the bottle and it hurts. I know I have to end things because he won't change and I deserve to be treated better. I just grieve for the man that I love.