I'm 28 weeks pregnant with our 3rd child. I lose my sex drive when I'm pregnant and I do try to "relieve" hubby as much as I can. However today I woke up to a note offering me $1200 to go shopping plus a list of jobs he will do around the house if I have sex with him once a week plus twice a week help him out. Needless to say it made me feel dirty. I am speechless of how to respond to him. My first reaction was to kick him you no where. I don't know how many times I have explained to him that physically my body is the one that changes. This baby was unplanned, Unexpected and a 6 year age gap between my other 2. I've had a range of responses from, if you don't do it he'll go elsewhere to wtf!! I'm confused, hurt, mad and makes me push him away and feel backed into a corner. How do I deal with this.
12 Replies
Ouch! Im with you, id be angry, hurt and feel dirty as well. I realise men have 'needs' and we are suppose to support that but women have bloody needs to! The need to feel emotionally suppprted and not be pushed into something we dont want to do! Your hubby probably feels like he is reaching out to you so maybe (try to) calmly explain to him that this isnt the right way to go about it. And then compromise for a solution.
I'd be furious!!!!! You are not a hooker. Tell him if it's that important that he is welcome to use a hooker the minute he has moved out! Seriously sex is not an entitlement and there is a reason
Maybe you can get a sex toy for him (they have a wide range available now) and you can be in the room with him while he is doing this or you can kiss him and touch him while he pleasures himself. I would be offended too!! Tell him you were offended and you are not a Whore. But be careful with pushing him away. Try and work on things together and make compromises. I think telling him you won't have sex with him or anything for basically 40 plus weeks would be hard on most men. I don't think it gives him the right to look it somewhere else though.
Write him a note with a porno attached telling him he has 2 hands and a heart beat.
If he loves you he won't go else where. Maybe have a chat to him, tell him that paying you for sex is not on and say how you would like to come to a compromise to make you both feel happy. Maybe spend that money on a dinner instead and talk about everything that needs to be talked about in regards to this. Explain how you are trying to help him out in that department already and you understand his frustrations and appreciate how he has been trying till this point but that is not on.
Oh my god.
No words-
$1200 your not his hooker. But maybe he's just trying to give you an incentive.... maybe he thinks that by offering you this stuff ie jobs done around the house you wont be so tired and you'll be more in the mood. That adds up to about $100 dollars a week for the rest of your pregnancy. In my eyes he is lacking something he should be more understanding but he is male. You don't want to do it because you feel obliged to do it but you don't want him to go else where either. Get a book on the subject mark up some web pages and help him do some research. Men don't understand what women go through whilst pregnant. Maybe you both need to try harder to see the others point of view. If my Ex had given me that note I would have seen it as a sign of communication and tried to work something out. I realise I'll possibly get shot down for this. But if you don't want him to go elsewhere maybe you need to compromise. I don't condone cheating, but he is reaching out to you in the only way he knows how.
Oh man I would be so angry and hurt if my partner did this aswell. I also loose my sex drive when Iam pregnant but my husband is the opposite he finds me even more attracting when Iam pregnant. We both try to make an effort at this time he tried to help with the house more so Iam not so tied and I try and put more effort in if not sex then other things. But when your almost 9 mths pregnant and feeling huge the last thing in the world u really want to do is have sex it's uncomfortable, hurts and exhausting.
He is male. He probably thinks what he has done was funny. Just talk to him about what he has done. Males don't think before you act.
lol, had to laugh at this one. you can also write a list for him, saying, in addition to your offer I would like, a daily massage, a cleaner and a cook for the house, date night to get you in the mood once a week. lol feel free to add anything else that suits you.
Take the money, go shopping and once you get home and want the goods tell him no!
He'll be well and truely fu#&ed then! Haha
I think your being selfish, it's not a medical reason. You don't have to be sexually aroused to give the poor man a blow job.
Help the poor man out. It's not that you can't.