This is more a vent then a question.
I'm so frustrated at my hubby at the moment. We had our second baby two weeks ago and he took three weeks off work to help me at home and help look after our very active 2yo.
He has honestly taken this oppertunity to be a lazy ass who tells me I'm using him while he is on "holidays". He says his tired because our 2yo wakes him up at 5.30am every morning but he is so blind to the fact that our newborn has me on a 3 hourly feeding schedule leaving me not much time for sleep. He naps during the day leaving me with both babies and then tells me I'm going to have to get used to it so what's the difference if I start now.
He complains about doing housework even though it's evenly shared and tells me I'm lazy if I stop for more an half an hr to have a much needed break.
I'm so angry right now and just want to take my kids and leave. He has spent the past 3 days putting me down, telling me I'm lazy and I'm a user. Obviously he has no idea how to be sensitive to a woman who just had a baby.
Am I over reacting or am I married to an ass.
Rant over. :(
New baby, insensitive partner.
New baby, insensitive partner.
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Baby & Toddler
8 Replies
your married to an ass.
sorry that posted before i finished.
Your not over-reacting. this isn't a holiday for him, he took this time off to HELP you...not hinder you!!
If you have family in the area, call on them to help you!!
Best of luck
Your married to an ass! I'd be kicking him out or leaving. You have just given birth to a baby. I think this is a wake up call about who your actually married to. I know someone will get on here saying it's male PND or some rubbish, what a load of crap. I bet if you look back this isn't the first signs of this you've seen.
Yep he sounds like a total ass. or at least he's acting like one. some men just don't get it!!!! its not the 1950s anymore honey! Is it possible you go stay with your parents or something, even just for a week? might give you some extra help and might give him the wake up call he needs. You know what my best friend did?? She had her 3rd baby and her husband didn't help at all, the baby cried all the time and woke up all the time, she was extremely sleep deprived for about 5 weeks, one day the baby was crying and husband was giving her a hard time so you know what she did? She put the baby in a crib and walked out the door (husband was at home). She went for a long drive and went to the shops and just walked around for about 3-4 hours, she came home and although husband was angry it really showed him how hard it was for her. he couldn't even look after her for 4 hours!!
Some men don't handle having a child well in that they lose so much of us while we are busy caring for bub (only natural). Also there is an envy that there that there is little they can do so early on while bub relies so heavily on usIn saying that there is not an excuse on earth acceptable for calling you a user, lazy and as mentioned above this time off was not a holiday. I would be having a good chat and if that does not change I wouldn't know what!
Nope not being sensitive am sorry to say your married to a selfish pig. :-( I am about to have my second and although my husband can't take time off ( own business) he has a week and then flexible hours to help me as much as possible for when I need.
he is being very unfair. A few things to keep in mind (am not making excuses for him) maybe he has post natal depression as dads can suffer too. Try when you are both sitting down together to ask him how he feels about having a new baby (and pretend you understand how hard the new responsibility is for him) it might open up a conversation where he feels he can be honest making him more open to understanding you. I only say this as it worked for us. Hubby was scared and overwhelmed of the responsibility of a third baby (we have a 4 year old, 2 year old and 8 week old) good luck and it sounds awful but its actually easier when they are at work if they are only being an 'ass' when home.
Nah, your not over reacting. I'd be super pissed off too. When my partner took 'maternity leave' when our second child was born, the second week he got all shitty and had a big rant tht he took holidays and all hes done is housework, cleaning up after everyone else.
I totally flipped out an yelled "omfg what have I done for you and the kids every day for the past how many years! The point of the holidays was to HELP! So get the f over it!" Anyway he felt like a giant dick and appologised a million times and never complained once ever again. just tell him if he cant suck it up, go back to work cause u dont want a third baby to take care of. :)