OMG where do I start ... My husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage (they were married for 3 years, divorced for 12 yrs!, we have been married for 9yrs have 4 kids aged 8,7,5 & 2). I love those 2 to death aged b16 & g13. We have now been informed by CSA (child support agency) that they are no longer visiting and that their mother wants more money. Now I understand kids wanting to make their own decisions but this time last year they wanted to both move and live with us! They were told by their mother that they were not old enough to make that decision along with emotional blackmail along the lines of why do you both want to leave, dont you love me anymore?
My Son was moving to complete his studies and have a better chance getting into Uni and my Daughter was fighting so much with her mother it was too much for her (did attempt suicide). Since they told her they wanted to move they have been on a downward spiral my son is now taking medication for depression and has counciling sessions, daughter is also in counciling and now saying everything was just normal mother/ daughter stuff. They have stopped all communication with us and their 4 siblings and moved without providing a forwarding address.
So I want to find out why. Why is it we have done nothing but support and fight to have those kids and this is where it ends up? Im so frustrated and angry that they have just wiped us away without thinking it makes me think its all the mother. Unfortunately my husband has just said fine and will be walking away - this does not sit well with me and we have just had a massive argument about it. Please help me accept this and move on, I know I need to for the sake of our marriage.
1 Replies
Unfortunately kids that age make shitty decisions and change their minds every 10 minutes, and have the emotional maturity of a 2 year old (seriously its a terrible age) and they are easily manipulated. I don't think its until you have kids of your own your realise what a shit you were as a teenager (well i didn't anyway). Things will change but its a matter of time. Don't push but have an open heart when they eventually return to your lives eventually.