I am having trouble dealing with my 4yo DD who has started saying nasty things to me..
Today I got "I wish I had a better mum" because I told her she had to wait until this afternoon to go to her friends house. Last week I got "gee mum you have such a fat tummy". I get other things like "you are the meanest mum ever", "I hate my sister, my dog and all of you". The list goes on
I won't lie it is really hurting me and I know she's young and doesn't understand it hurts me but how can I make her see it's not nice and it does hurt my feelings? Am I doing something wrong? We never talk about being fat or saying horrible things about other people and I just don't know where it's coming from!! I always try my best to show her how to treat people but it doesn't seem to be working
1 Replies
Keep on persisting. After she's over her tiff sit her down and have a one to one with her about how it hurts people's feelings. Try and get her to empathise and ask her how she would feel if someone said that to her.
It seems like she says these things when she's angry so perhaps look into something she can do or say when she's angry instead. Like when she is angry have her say "I am cross because...." This will also help you realise what she needs to not feel cross. Or when she says "I wish I had a better mum" ask her why she feels this way and what she thinks a better mum is. At least it will get her thinking.
She is allowed to feel angry but she will find out that what she says has consequences so creating these habits/coping mechanisms early will help. It will take a long time but will be worth it. X