Hi. I need some advice about my daughter. She has just turned 15, and I was looking at the photos in her phone yesterday, and I found some sexually explicit photos on it, which she says she has been sending to boys on snapchat. This is not the first time she has done something like this. About 6 months ago she was doing the same thing on another social app. My question is, how do I deal with this. I'm devastated, and also very angry at her for doing it again. The last 12 months have been one bad thing after another with her, and I'm at the end of my rope. Thanks
6 Replies
Take away her phone, iPad what ever it is she has access too for a fortnight. Give her access to technology ONLY when you can supervise. Check her phone every night anyway. Then start working on her confidence. Girls with high self esteem are not flattered by guys asking for pics. Make sure she is getting plenty of the right kind of attention so she isn't attention seeking elsewhere. So spending lots of quality time etc and also talking about how she is distributing child pornography and the dangers.
Depending how explicit She can actually be charged with distributing child pornography! Maybe use that to scare her into stopping
She can be charged with distributing explicit photos of a minor and end up being on the Sex offenders list with a slur against her name that will NEVER go away. Affecting her whole life- restricting places she can go, jobs etc. This is real it's something that has happened to other young girls.
*I am a teacher in WA and have recently attended a PD regarding keeping our children safe. This was one aspect covered.
Together go onto your computer and Google all these girls naked pictures that have been leaked online my ex bfs or random guys. Make sure she knows she can't trust anyone. Hackers who she doesn't know can even access these pictures. There are a lot of horror stories online I'm sure you can find. I did this when I was her age and what stopped me was finding out my dad was able to see everything I was doing online! Embarrassing much? I would take her phone and computer away for a while until you feel she's gotten the hint even just a little bit. My own story you could share with her was when I was 16 I took naked selfies on my phone, I never shared them with everyone but ended up loosing my phone at school and they wound up in the hands of a male students. It was absolutely terrible.
Also agree she may have low self esteem at the moment make sure you tell her how beautiful she is and if her dad is present get him to tell her and spend time with her
EEEEEUUUGHHHH 15! worst age ever!
Old enough to get a job and have a phone.
Too young to understand the consequences of certain actions like sending these type of pics to guys.
As long as the guys keep telling you how "hot" and "beautiful" you are you get those butterflies in your tummy, these crushes on them and you keep doing it for the attention. I was 15 eight years ago. I had a phone with a camera on it and it was not a good idea! I know that my parents assumed I had zero interest in guys but little did they know I was kissing 18 year olds on weekends! (On the plus side, I did grow out of it! and I did come out relatively unscathed!)
I think you need to explain to her the seriousness of the situation. Firstly, that yes, it is illegal! as others have said.
Secondly explain to her that you can screen shot a snap chat! then these guys will show his friends and they will all gather around and laugh and make jokes because 16 - 18 year old guys can be total JERKS!
My partner who is in his late 20's can tell me that one of his mates used to get nude pics off girls that had crushes on him because he was a very attractive guy and the girls loved him and he was a smooth talker! and what would he do with the pics? send them to ALL his friends, show them off because it boosted his ego. You need to ask her how she would feel if these guys she sent them too, were showing all their mates. Also book an appointment with the school counsellor and maybe they can do a few sessions on self esteem and self worth. Even if she seems confident, if her mind frame can be changed to "I don't need the attention of these guys to make me feel good about myself" it could help.
Also limit her time on her phone. She will be soooo mad at you but say from 7:30 pm - 7:30am her phone is to be switched off and you hang onto it for her. Tell her its just until you can trust she isn't sneakily sending the pics. Good luck! I am soooo scared my teenagers will be as rotten as I was :(:(:(