I have three gorgeous children, my eldest is almost 3 and he is very smart and independent. He has some unusual behaviour that is becoming very frustrating for me as I don't know how to deal with it, he gets frustrated and then I feel guilty. Firstly he is terrified of any dirt, pieces of fluff from clothes (small specks), he's scared of showering unless myself or his dad is showering with him, he's terrified of the bath - because if he has dirt on him and it gets in the water or on the floor it scares him. He has to say bye to every TV show and tells me to say it, which is normal but if I'm busy and don't hear him or don't say bye he flips out and starts screaming and thrashing around on the floor, tears streaming down his face, really over the top. I don't know how much of this is normal behaviour or whether he has inherited some of my anxiety (both of my parents have it and I have suffered from it since I was a young child)
It's frustrating because I try and stay calm and tell him it's ok and nothing will hurt him, or I can say bye to his shows next time etc but he doesn't seem to care and continues with his tantrums until I can distract him.
He also loves building things and arranging and sorting them from biggest to smallest or in colours etc, making long rows of toys, and if his room isn't perfect before bed then he has another big tantrum.
You'd think having three children I would know how to handle these things but I still feel like a new mum every day.
I would appreciate any advice on how to help calm him and handle his behaviour and fears
My son has OCD behaviour
My son has OCD behaviour
Posted in:
Behaviour, Baby & Toddler, Kids
4 Replies
Some of the behaviours you describe fall into anxiety disorders like OCD and the lining things up is a trait often associated with Autism Spectrum Disorder. I think it's a good time to get a referral for a developmental paediatrician and a child psychologist.
My son does similar stuff, but I don't think my son has Aspergers or autism, but maybe a little OCD as I have it as well as anxiety & so does my Mum & my Dad & brother both have anxiety too. My son feels the need to ask if he can wipe his tears after he cries, everytime. He also went through a stage of saying goodnight in a certain order. He'd say 'I love you' & then I'd HAVE to say it back. Then he'd say 'I love you so much' & I'd HAVE to say it back, & then he'd say 'I love' & I HAD to say that back too. If I didn't say it in that order & quick enough he went nuts. My son loves Thomas the tank engine & lines up all his toy trains too. There were other things too, but I find them to be stages. Sometimes he does it & sometimes he doesn't. It could be a way that your son makes himself feel calmer when he's going through something - in saying that is he stressed about anything? If he is otherwise a happy child I'd keep an eye on him as I do with my son. When you feel it's time to be addressed, seek a referral from your doctor. But I feel every second child these days is diagnosed with something or has special needs just from little things. Some kids are just fascinated by lining things up & some kids are just overly clever. It doesn't always mean Aspergers or autism. What happened to kids just being kids? I think all too often these days thinking a child 'has something' is jumped at too soon.
Developmental paediatricians are awesome are sorting out the difference between a child with some quirks and a child with ASD or OCD. You can't be diagnosed with something if you DONT meet the criteria. Just because we talk about it more now doesn't mean there are more kids diagnosed (when my son was diagnosed 16 years ago it was only 4 years after the era of locking them up and pretending they didn't exist).
You'd feel a bit bad if you didn't check it out with a developmental paediatrician and access all the assistance available before the child started school and it turned out later to be ASD or OCD and your child had missed out on a bucket load of assistance that would have made your child's life a bucket load easier!
I always recommend if I. Doubt check it out as we can't see a child and are not qualified to diagnosis one way or another where as someone qualified will be able to say one way or another abs the parent and child at least know they are doing the right thing and their child is at the very least being monitored!
reading this brings into mind Sensory Processing Disorder. You need a referral to a paediatrician at your local children's hospital and they should be able to look at this matter for you.