Hi IM'S I am after any tips and advice you might have for me on the first steps of my partner getting custody of of his 2 dd 6 & 2. A bit of back ground, My partner and I have been together for 8 months I also have 2 children ds 4 and dd 2 we have been living together for the past 3 months we have the girls every second weekend and half school holidays. Before my partner and I where serious and living together he tried to take the girls but with not much support and working full time found it quite hard and with no custody agreement in place she took them back. She has been sing ice and smoking pot on a daily basis he believed her when she said she was of it all and was taking the kiddies back, she then moved in with her parents which we where both very happy about as we thought moving an hour away from the environment that she was in would be great and she would get the extra support and help she needed. We have still been having the girls every second weekend and half school holidays and everything seemed to be going really well until my partner had a call from his exes mother on Sunday saying she wants to take the girls off her and kick her daughter out as she has gotten worse hanging around not so nice people she suspects she’s still using she’s never home always leaving the girls with her parents has forgotten to pick her daughter up from school on the only day she has to as her grandmother picks her up every other day. My partner and I feel as though the girls should be here with us I a stable loving caring home not with there grandparents even though they would do a fabulous job and we are so happy they have there grandparents they should be with there dad who more then wants them. So any advice or tips would be lovely the kiddies come first and we only wants what is best for them.. TIAxxx
5 Replies
His first step is to go see a lawyer and go to mediation. Is it possible for you guys not to send the girls back and you look after them while he works (I know it's extra pressure but it is just until orders are in place), then allow grandparents visitation ect if you are fine with that and have mums visitation there with them. Ask for pee tests too and get any info you can on her. I completely agree your partner should have them instead of grandparents just simply because if he is a great dad then they deserve to have a parent there. Good luck I hope it all works out.
Yes the plan is for me to be there main carer while he is working im not worried about the pressure on myself just want the girls to be safe and happy and to know they are well loved thank you
That's great of you not many would do that but those girls deserve a parent there who loves them and spends time with them like your partner will and a great step mummy like you. Good luck hope everything works out.
Yes certainly go to mediation and get legal advice. Make sure though your partner is the one is pushing for it. Yes its great your around to help but it comes across really badly when its the 'step-mum' doing all the organising of the processes. It needs to come from him otherwise it just looks like the new partner rocking the boat.
Your partner needs to do it all. No court will take notice of you. Im sorry but thats a fact. You have not been a part of their lives long enough for a judge to take it into consideration.
So if your partner wants to have the children in his care then he needs to take steps to make that happen. See a lawyer, mediation, speak to the grand parents.