Hi everyone just after a bit of advice, sorry in advance its a bit of a long story.
Late last year my mum cut all contact with my self ( we have never had the best relationship) partner and kids, without any warning or explanation. I tried calling her she wouldn't answer, tried going to her house and she wouldn't answer the door.
Anyway fast forward to now, since we last saw her has been Christmas, all the kids birthdays and i had some surgery which she knew about, announced we are expecting another bub and still no contact .
I finally gave up and left it for a few months but last week i wrote her a letter asking what we had done for her to cut contact and surprisingly she rang me.
The only explanations she has given me is that she had had enough of me ignoring her husband (they got married when i was 10) and changing the subject when she mentioned anything to do with his family, The reason do this is because when i was growing up (puberty) he and his brothers would make constant remarks about the size of my breasts ( i was in a D cup by age 11) and that his brother raped me when i was 13 (which i told her about at the time and she brushed me off as attention seeking) All of which she seems to have forgotten about or just doesn't believe me when i say it really affected my self esteem etc.
Do i try and make an effort to stay in contact with her atleast for the kids sake, they ask why we haven't seen grandma for a long time. Or do i just leave it and move on with our lives without her??
My mum has cut all contact
My mum has cut all contact
Posted in:
Life Lessons
3 Replies
Your mum is a piece if work. Move on. If your mum can't support you and won't even admit what happened to you as a teen then she has nothing to offer your kids and she certainly won't be their protector either. Whose mum cuts her child out if her life without talking to you about it first? She is a very unreliable grandma, don't let her back into your kids lives.
She said it! ^^ what a piece of work.
You dont need to be bullied & ignored into pleasing her, having a relationship that way will destroy your peace.
My twin sister has not spoken to our mother in two years because her partner is a controlling weirdo.It sounds like a similar story with your mums husband and it must hurt to have her choose him over you,her own flesh and blood.
So I'm going to suggest an approach that may lessen the conflict.dont cut your mother off from you and the kids in your heart.my mother has been heartbroken by the loss of contact with two kids she adored.tell the kids nanna is busy,one day she will miss you all and closing the door to future reconciliation is a knee jerk reaction.
she will always be mum,a dear friend of mine said who was molested by her step dad and her mum knows but still chose him.your mum still loves you,she just can't show it right now.