Hi my husband has walked out on me and our girls today, we have been fighting alot lately- he has been a heavy dope smoker for years, he keeps promising me he'll quit because it makes him a different, unreasonable, angry and unpredictable. .he's never physically hurt me but can be very verbally abusive..and says it in front of the kids..then when he's good, he's great and apologises for being so nasty and promises me he'll stop and everything will return to 'normal' and that's the hope I hold on to..but yesterday he 'stopped' and was so angry and nasty so I took girls to my mums for the night..hoping by this morning he would be happy again but he wasn't and he has left saying he's staying in a motel then leaving town for good tomorow. .he doesn't seem to care about losing everything we have :( he also applied for a credit card without me knowing and is spending that to 'start his new life' in his words. .and I don't want to be responsible for that debt because I know he won't pay for it.. I don't know what to do.. im so sad, angry and confused..any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks x
4 Replies
You are better off without him. It all sounds like it's for the best. You won't be left legally responsible for his debt as he has left you and you didn't sign for the card. It will be all sorted out in the financial separation. It sounds like if he has left you with the household belonging and assets then you have gotten the good end of the deal financially.
Oh trust me, from a child who grew up with a father EXACTLY like this (except as we got older he was physical- with us not our mum), let him go. You and your girls are better off without him! Our mum never protected us and we dealt with shit from him until the time we left home! Mum is still with dad, dad still smokes dope and mum is still making the choice to ignore it all. Trust me there is resentment toward her for never stepping up and protecting us from him!
Oh how I know all too well about marijuarna withdrawls. My husband is and always has been heavily addicted. Smoking up to half an ounce a week. It feels like the end of the world when he cant get on! Very verbally abusive. However, he is a great father. An amazing husband. Works extremely hard AND he was addicted to this drug when I Met him and when I married him. I know what I was marrying. Im one of those people that are FOR weed. How many people have died from weed? How many people have died from cigarettes? Did you know his habits when you married him? An addiction is an addiction there will be issues when withdrawing just like anything. So its up to you whether you want to live with it or not. Good luck
And what about the kids? Who's thinking about them while he's stoned or being abusive and she's making the excuse "I knew his habit when I married him"? Those kids need their mother to for the right thing by THEM. Because their drug addicted father certainly isn't going to!
Oh and withdrawal from drugs in no way makes it ok to become an abuser!