I need advice on why and how to manage my 10 mo who is starting to bite and scream when she is frustrated with me.
I will tell her no to the behaviour or something she is wanting that i'm not wanting her to have. I don't say it aggressively it angrily but with gentle firmness. I'm more of the disciplinarian personally of my husband and I can see we will be at loggerheads in time to come.
I don't discipline bubs right now except say "argh argh" or "no" when she's doing what isn't good. Eg. Persistently pinching; scratching; grabbing at the pets; grabbing something she shouldn't touch etc. Instead I try to demonstrate the acceptable treatment of another eg. Gently touching and rubbing while "nice nice" and "good girl".
I admit I'm not very good with babies and kids but with a challenging upbringing and life up to now, I don't want to apply the wrong approach to behaviour management.
I don't argue with her but try to diffuse the situation by sitting her on my leg and resting my hand on her chest to calm her down while gently hushing. And telling her "it's ok (name)..."
Am I doing the right thing????
It's a great worry to see she's lunging forward to bite me while throwing her hands up in the air.
I know she's going through the oral phase but I hadn't noticed her or other babies this age behaving this way when angry/ reacting to what they dislike.
I would love advice from other parents who have faced the same and from those who work with children, and strategies you have found to calm little one and eliminate the behaviour.
Please help.
3 Replies
My little one never tried to bite, but he would head butt tiles, walls, myself, or anything close enough whenever he got frustrated. It's such a hard age because they know what they want but they can't communicate to us! I did the same as you, with distraction and calming techniques, and it is just a phase they go through I promise! I also would walk away if it was bad, so maybe you could say "ouch that really hurt mummy" then place her on the floor in a safe place and step a few metres away from her (never out of her sight though). She will learn that when she hurts, you don't want to be near her but she will know you're still around. Kids are a lot smarter than we think lol. Pick your battles wisely, I found I was saying no to everything even if it was minor things so I readjusted my way of thinking and if it wasn't harming my son or dangerous then I was a bit more lenient. You sound like you're doing a fantastic job, as hard and exhausting as it might be at this time! Keep up the good work mumma, you can get through this xx
Lots of kids not all go through a biting phase. Some go through it earlier others later, so please don't feel like your child is doing something different. Sounds like your being consistent and not giving in by giving the desired item (which is really important). It may take done time for your child to get the idea that biting doesn't work :(
Hun don't stress ! I had the biggest biter from four months and peaked at ten, she even drew blood from a friends boy, I got offered all sorts of "advice" from some very lovely mums and so very judging mums! In my case I ignored her, I would say a quick firm no if it was another kid but if it was me or hubby I ignored it , she got no relation so she didn't want to do it straight away again she is now 14 months and rarely bites only when teething but I still always keep an eye on her , just ride it out it's just one of those things xx