Hey IMs I've been separated for a while now and find its time to move on but have an overwhelming fear that when I do start dating again and when I tell my future partner that I have genital herpes ( contracted by my unfaithful ex) he will run for the hills and I will be left lonely for the rest of my life. my question is has anyone been stuck in the shoes im currently in. How do I cope? How do I live a normal life? Any advice (not hurtful advice) would be much appreciated. I just feel like ill never be able to find love and be happy.
7 Replies
Awe, I have herpes paranoia for some reason, I'm always getting myself checked so I've looked into this. There are special dating sites in australia designed for people who have herpes or other STDs. I found one by googling. I suppose the idea being dating someone else with herpes equals a more understanding partner. I can't remember what the number is but I was quite surprised by the % of people who do have herpes, it's quite high so your not alone. A relative of mine has herpes and has been in a number of long term relationships since. Sure there are going to be some guys who react badly but they aren't worth it! I did notice there were some online support groups too. Good luck
This is the site I was talking about
http://www.lovebug.net.au
Good luck
I have it, every relationship I was in I told the guy and he was always OK about it. You have to trust that that will happen for you, it's a very common STD. I wouldn't be surprised if he had it too
Men are such scum bags! Poor thing. Just be honest with the guy I assume most would be OK with it if you wear protection.
I too contracted HSVII from an unfaithful partner. I met the man of my dreams and had to tell him. I chose the rip it off like a bandaid technique and did it after our first date. 4.5 years later, we're married and living in bliss. I wish you all the best, it's a bitch to live with - I've had complications with mine - but happiness is out there xox
I caught it the same way (except lucky for him, he didn't get the symptoms!)
When I met my now husband I don't think it was really a major issue. It's just came up in conversation one day. He asked a few questions to educate himself and then never mentioned it again.
I've had two out breaks in the last 13 years that we've been together, I just tell him he needs to steer clear until it goes and he's fine with that. For what it's worth, we don't use protection (have two kids, he's had a vasectomy now) and he has never shown any symptoms at all.
I contracted HSV2 (Herpes Simplex Virus 2, that's genital herpes) about a year and a half ago, well got my first outbreak. It affected my self esteem more than it did my body and I haven't been rejected because of this virus and I find most people are really uneducated about what the herpe virus actually is. My suggestion is to research thoroughly so that you can answer questions, you'll probably practice on a few people, might cry, every process you go through is perfectly fine. To manage the actual virus, try to keep in mind that it doesn't define you. In fact, we might even be the lucky ones. Granted I myself would prefer to not have it at all as I'm sure you can relate but there's a large portion of the population who carry and don't even know it, they don't want to know either, they just go around infecting everyone and we're stuck picking up the pieces. There are worse things in this world to have than a virus that may occasionally give you a fever blister. The social stigma attached to the virus is about as comforting as the blister itself, with time it eases. I laugh about it now. I hope that you're able to recognize your worth as a woman has not changed at all and if some guy won't date you because of it he is not worth your time.
Thanks x