I wrote in a few weeks ago about advice to move on from my ex I left him 6 months ago because of abuse, lies, cheating, and drug abuse). I am so grateful for all the responses and after a lot of soul searching am coming to grips from it. There is one more thing I would like to ask. Some people suggested writing a letter and not sending it. I have written it and despite how I originally thought it would be, it is quite positive, no hurt or anger, and really helped. It also made me realise there is so much I have wanted to say to him that I haven't, and part of me really wants to send it. I know this can be a bad idea and I keep thinking it will help with this final stage of coming to peace with things but then I feel like maybe it won't. I guess I'm just asking for advice, to see if anyone has done this and sent it or anyone has done this and not sent it. How did you feel after making that decision? I know that once I send it I can't take it back, so I really want to be sure I don't want to regret it but I also don't want to regret having things left unsaid, or is it better this way? I am feeling so much more at ease with everything already, will this just make it harder?
Thanks in advance.
3 Replies
Put it in an envelope and send it to the wrong address. I think putting it in the post box is probably like saying goodbye. Him actually reading the lecture could just cause more trouble than it's worth x
I agree it could make things messy... I say keep your head held high and don't send it... Maybe in time when things are settled you may be able to amicably talk and give each other closure for my ex and I it was about 6 months after separation when we were beginning to discuss divorce. We are on quite good terms now and we both needed it to move on. It is really fresh right now for you though and I'd be weary. If you feel you need to talk about it a councillor may be a good option.
I did something similar. There were no harsh words and it had everything I wanted to say, that I never had the chance to.
I sent it. And at the time it felt like the right thing to do, but it turned out to be 6 months of hell back and forth and it caused me so much more anger, and same with him.
I have to admit that part of our issues was that I never communicated during our relationship, and then once I started, it was hard for both of us to stop.
I believe that if I had waited a year to send it, things would have been different, but instead I only waited 3 months.
No one knows your situation. It could be good, it could be bad. So just be sure you are ready for the repercussions if it's bad. It can go downhill very quickly