I just need to vent.. As I am a wreck sitting by myself crying.. I am 21 years old and 14 weeks pregnant, I have had to move to my mothers temporarily because of a situation I was involved in where I was living and since living here my mum has been ripping me from everything I am as a person and making me really despise my pregnanc, I got excited today and thought I would tell a girlfriend my exciting news that I'm pregnant and we were talking and she was saying she has heaps of stuff to give me and I was saying how great it is to have my partner that doesn't currently with me he lives 8 hours away from me to be there when my baby is born and my friend was like do you have any other support apart from your mum and I said yeah my partner and other family and she said well that is good well I have been pretty selective on who I have told but my mum has told me everyone without considering my feelings after I have told her I want to tell people when I am ready, well after my positive talk with my friend my mum turns around and says it's not even his baby it's her exes the baby is properly going to be a little ranger haha but I guess the baby might be cute but properly not.. I am heart broken and so upset and she just made me feel so disgusting and just hate that I even mentioned it and that I'm having this child as she is telling everyone the father of my child is someone's that it isn't. She is really ruining this for me. I am in such a dark place at the moment and so upset. I just needed to let it all out somewhere sorry for the rant.
5 Replies
Please leave your mothers home, go to a friends house, go where ever. Your mum sounds like a nutcase!
Wow, are we sisters???!! This is pretty much exactly how it escalated with my mother too but I wasn't living with her. Needless to say things got way, way worse until I finally lost it and she wiped her hands of me. Honestly, 4 years on, it's the best thing to ever happen to me! I ended up struggling all the way through my pregnancy and until my baby was 2. My advice would be to get out of there now, nip it in the bud now before it gets worse, and go see your gp about getting some help for you. Research Maternal Narcassist and protect yourself from her.. Hopefully, if she's a much better person than my mother, you'll be able to talk it out like adults and resolve these issues and actually get her to support you instead of cutting you down. Good luck IM xxx
Toxic. get your residential situation sorted out as highest priority her crap can seriously impact your health and as a consequence have a detrimental effect on the pregnancy. until then try to spend as much time as possible out of her range and remind yourself the issue is hers
Depending on what your relationship with your mother is usually like, I would suggest speaking to her and laying all your feelings out on the table. Tell her you don't like her telling people these things and tell her how it makes you feel. Have a mutual family friend mediate if you feel that would help. If on the other hand she's always been like this, I would agree with the other posters and say get out now! If you have a friend or family member you can stay with, away from the toxic behaviour of your mother, it will do you the world of good. Your baby needs to be your first priority. Stress during pregnancy is not good for either of you. Good luck x
she sounds like a very toxic lady and you should try a move out, is it possible to move the 8 hours to your partners or do you have a friend or another family member you can reach out to for support. Also be aware of the signs for pre and post natal depression and seek medical help if you need it. Your mother is not good for your health or the health of your unborn baby. You should be enjoying this time not feeling like this. best of luck I hope you are able to get out and be happy and enjoy being pregnant and the journey into motherhood.