My husband was a high income earner and lost his job. He now has a new job/income that is a lot less. I am budgeting like crazy just to make ends meet so he can travel to and from work and pay most of our bills, however he is still spending like he still earns a high income and actually asked for an advance on his wages for a week without consulting me and now our account is -$500.00 and there is nothing left for me to feed the kids, buy fuel, etc. I earn a very small income should i be putting it into a separate account as a backup or use it to keep his account open?
6 Replies
You and hubby need to chat about money. Sit down together and talk about what you can now realistically afford. A pay cut can take a lot of getting used to. You need to explain to hubby that your family can't spend like it used to, and that you all need to pull your heads in before it ruins you (don't make it about him, specifically). He has likely taken a self-esteem hit losing such a lucrative job and attacking him won't be productive.
If he won't talk, or doesn't agree to the new family budget then definitely look at having your income paid to a separate account, and perhaps even consider separating.
I'd definitely be putting what ever money you get/make into a separate account! He obviously doesn't care that you & the kids are going to go hungry ect... Does he know that the the account is overdrawn so much & you have nothing left for the necessitys you need to survive? I'd be having a harsh word with him if I were you. Good luck hunni
A separate account that only YOU have access too.
This is very normal. It will take him some time to adapt from his high income to a lower one. We will always spend what we earn within reason. You need to really communicate properly during this time and show him the budget, explain everything very literally to him. It will take time but he will adapt! Just beware he will have his pride a little crushed already from losing his job, be supportive yet firm on the situation. Good Luck.
Hi, firstly get all the facts of bills etc and income and sit down with him when you ate not going to be interrupted. Make a time when you are both in a good head space. A monthly budget, worked out together gives a good indication of where you are. Include everything, from Regis, to services. Ask him for his input when you sit down... Ask him things like " how much do you think we need to our aside for car tyres" or " petrol is usually $300 a months do you think that's about right ?
Then add all up with him. Most minus bills from income. Let him look, think, for about 5-10 minutes. Don't say much.Go and make each other a drink or something, then say something like " we are lucky you are able to provide all our needs. Maybe our personal wants can be put aside for a bit?"
I did this in the weekend. But I ensured he knew he was a good provider. Men don't want to ever feel they are failing at this.
Hi, firstly get all the facts of bills etc and income and sit down with him when you ate not going to be interrupted. Make a time when you are both in a good head space. A monthly budget, worked out together gives a good indication of where you are. Include everything, from Regis, to services. Ask him for his input when you sit down... Ask him things like " how much do you think we need to our aside for car tyres" or " petrol is usually $300 a months do you think that's about right ?
Then add all up with him. Most minus bills from income. Let him look, think, for about 5-10 minutes. Don't say much.Go and make each other a drink or something, then say something like " we are lucky you are able to provide all our needs. Maybe our personal wants can be put aside for a bit?"
I did this in the weekend. But I ensured he knew he was a good provider. Men don't want to ever feel they are failing at this.