Two days ago hubby had a vasectomy. It took us a long time to come to this decision but after 3 kids 6yr,3yr, and 3 mths hubby and myself have decided we where finished having children and wanted a more perminate birth control.
We told our parents and we thought they where supportive of our decision. But on the day of surgery my MIL found it really hard to cope with. At first I thought it was the surgery it's self as he was having a general anaesthetic but after speaking to her again and speaking to my SIL it has come out she was actually sad we wouldn't be having anymore babies. As she expected us to continue having children. She adores our children. They are her first grandchildren so far.
I find it hard to understand why she is so upset. We have three beautiful children, and let's face it bringing up children is expensive we have found we are happy with the 3 we have. We get next to no help from family and sometimes really struggle to juggle our family life. Iam finding myself very surprised she expected us to continue to have children. In our eyes we think why should we bring another child into this world if we can't afford to pay for it?? Iam feeling I need to justify our decision to her continuously for the last few days. She doesn't seem all that worried about hubby and how his recovering and more about how she's feeling.
In a way I feel honoured she thinks we are great parents and would want us to have more children. But on the other hand I feel alittle upset she is only thinking of her self and not the bigger picture that we are doing the best for our little complete family. How do I get over the way she's acting ??
3 Replies
My hubby and I decided to have a vasectomy when I was pregnant with our 2nd child. Two was plenty for us, due to my own medical reasons I couldn't go on the pill and well we considered a vasectomy was more easily reversed then having my tubes untied if we ever changed our minds or parted ways down the line. Neither of our parents really bothered when we let them know. You need to feel content with yours and your hubby's decision and MIL needs to be happy you've given her three beautiful grand kids.
The trick to dealing with so many of life's problems is to just stop caring what other people think, sweetheart. This is about her, not about you guys. You made the right decision for you, and it honestly has nothing to do with her. I'm sorry if I sound a little harsh, but it really irks me when I hear about people interfering in things that aren't their business, lol.
Try not to think about it. Really. She'll get over it.
Just give her time and don't stress about it. Never apologise for who you are and the choices you make. She'll get over it and realise three grandchildren is plenty to spoil and adore.
My husband and I have one child (20mths) and have decided financially and emotionally that's plenty as we have private school in mind. My parents think it's a sensible decision and adore their grandson.