There has been a few discussions on domestic violence against women on social media of late. Every time I read the comments it is flooded with people saying "domestic violence happens to men too", "why dont you mention anything about men being abused by their partners in this article" etc.
Im sorry, but why cant we just talk about women for a second please? Is domestic violence against men stigmatized, not talked about, not funded enough? Heck yes! Should it be talked about more? Heck yes! But please can we just talk about women dying every week without deflection.
If the discussion was about suicide in men I would be just as annoyed if women jumped in and said "women commit suicide too." Well of course they do but the issue of suicide in males is important enough to have a conversation which solely focusses on just that issue. Want to talk about domestic violence against men? Start a conversation about domestic violence against men. Don't speak over women.
2 Replies
Agree!
Nobody is stopping men from setting up services for abused men or even starting the conversation separately. The only reason services for women exist is because early feminists started them.
But I think that's the point though. Because the focus of domestic violence is so female orientated, a lot of people don't realise it happens to men too. A lot of men don't realise it happens to them until it happens either - and some men just think that's the way things are meant to be. Just like rape - it's very female oriented but men get raped too. You don't hear about it because men are made to feel like they're "weak" or "unmanly" and any number of other things because they allowed themselves to become domestically abused by a woman. There is still very much the mentality of "I'm a man and men should be stronger/more capable/etc than a woman" - doesn't matter whether you're a feminist or not, doesn't matter whether there are people out there who don't fit the mould, the fact is a lot of men DO fit the mould. That's the way they're made to feel.
I think that's why the subject of men and domestic abuse always frequently arises on these posts. Just my two cents anyway :)