Hi,
I am so sick and tired of people judging me and my husband! This judging then turns into jealously and then I somehow loose what I thought "were friends"
I get judged because I am a stay at home mum. I have a beautiful home. I have a hard working husband, new car....! Put it this way my son and I don't go without.
But what people don't understand is that all these things just don't turn up on a silver platter. My husband works extremely hard, we have our own business and it's hard work. We also go without on other things. We sacrifice a lot of things in order to have the beautiful home, car etc.
I am so sick and tired of loosing friends in my life over jealously.
I feel like that when I meet new people I can't be who I am because I am worried of being judged. I won't even were my wedding, engagement and enternity rings as I am worried that people think I have loads of money.
What do I do, sometimes I feel so alone and frustrated because I am so tired of being judged?
5 Replies
Oh this could have been my post hubby and myself also have a business and work hard for what we have we always get judged and ppl think we have loads and loads. Goodness if they knew how much i shop the sales and specials they would be shocked. We hardly have any friends because they either sponge or judge. I dont have an answer but just know your not alone.
Why won't you wear your wedding ring and engagement ring?
Who gives a flying truck what anyone thinks. People who stress over materialistic things are just vain. It's awesome that you have nice things, but since when did owning a new car or a nice house make you any better or any lesser then someone else. These things don't define a person. Be confident in the person you are and don't ever feel like you need to justify yourself.
I work long 7am-3pm and get judged by the stay at home mums at school for not being able to attend every single parade or performance. I get judged for having to put my prepie in before school care nearly every single day. I get comments like "oh youre missing out on so much". But that's ok because I tend to judge stay at home mums. I mean most of the mums at my school dont work but there kids are all at school.. so they are not really "stay at home mums" there kids arnt even at home. The point is, everyone judges.whether everyone wants to admit it or not. You judge without even realise youre judging. If you are happy with your life, you just have to live it and stop caring what everyone else thinks. If you have money and a nice car but you dont work good on you. Who cares
I judge people who are financially better off than me when they whinge that they have money problems! Or how hard they worked for something, right in front of someone who is genuinely struggling no matter how much they work or sacrifice. Ive been standing there in front of my 20 year old car, with my severely disabled son (I've been his sole carer now for 20 years) I would love to be able to go to work and get ahead and sacrifice but with only getting 8hrs a week care for my son its impossible. So when someone whinges or mentions or tells me about there financial difficulties or what they just bought and how hard they worked for it, yeah I tend to start avoiding that person from then on. I'm not jealous, I'm genuinely happy for them, but I don't need my financial situation was just rubbed in my face and I don't want that to keep happening. Or then there are the times when I compliment someone on there lovely outfit and they say 'Oh it is just a (insert designer label here)' rather than just saying thanks or something. I have wealthy friends and wealthy family who do none of those things, they never make me feel bad for being on struggle street, it is never an issue with them. But those that make me feel belittled (and I know thats not what they mean to do, but they do it) I avoid like the plague!
Everyone seems to judge everyone for something. There are posts on here by mums who don't have the nice car, clothes, jewellery, etc and feel judged by people in your position. I honestly think that a lot of the judgement people feel is actually not about those things at all. I hate to say it, but perhaps you're just not friendly, genuine and likeable to the people you thought were your friends?? I am in a financially very comfortable position too. We have 3 houses, a couple of nice cars, my husband has an incredibly expensive hobby (which shits me, but that's another story!) and our kids go to a very nice private school. Yet I have loads of friends! Including many who struggle financially, drive old cars, whatever. We also have friends who are as financially comfortable as we are, or more so. Honestly, nobody cares. Nobody gives the slightest damn about comparing rings, cars or houses. We like each other for who we are, the jokes we make, the help we give and the fun we have. Try choosing friends based on common interests, how well you get along when you chat, how much you make each other laugh, and so on. Call yourself a business owner rather than a stay at home mum with a hard working husband, if you think people don't like you for not having to work. Put your rings on, put a smile on, be interested in other people's lives, and see how you go. Good luck IM xo