I'm a chubby girl where as my husband is very fit and has no fat on him. Don't you hate it when your out & about and a lean fit attractive woman comes walking past & your man perves right infront of you. It makes me feel so ugly fat and self conscious. to the point that when he's at a mates house and they have pretty and skinny girlfriends I get so fuming with jealousy ( cos I wonder if he's perving & wonders if he wishes he had a hot skinny misses.
Then because of my jealousy i be a smart ass to him . How can I just accept these woman and not get all jealous ? I'm trying to lose weight to boost my self esteem but everyone knows it's a long hard journey so I'm not at my goal yet I've mentioned to my husband when he gets caught out perving but he will just deny it and say something like I wasn't looking at her or don't be so paranoid.
I wish I was one of these barbie doll figures( not putting shit on skinny girls I just admire them and wish I didn't let myself go like I have) this was more aimed at the fact my husband perves right infront of me and makes me feel yuck
Jealous of skinny girls and when my hubby perves
Jealous of skinny girls and when my hubby perves
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage, Self Care, Behaviour
13 Replies
Ok, this is coming from a big girl. Loosing weight will not change your self esteem, self esteem comes from within. Work on your self esteem so its not attached to your body image. Things happen to bodies, we get old, get wrinkly, saggy etc and there is ALWAYS going to be someone we perceive to be skinnier, hotter, prettier whatever. So work on your self esteem and then loose weight. Otherwise you will just be a skinny girl with low self esteem.
Once you've got your self esteem sorted then start to challenge your thoughts. Is hubby really checking them out, if he wants someone else why is he staying with you? Think about it.
Yes I'm hearing you!! My hubby is forever rubber necking and makes me feel ill to think what he does when I'm not around!!! And when he goes out with mates!!! I hate how our bodies change so drastically when we have kids and they stay just the same, I have serious jealousy issues and I absolutely hate how it consumes me, no advice but your not the only one that feels that way!
I needed to find something I had looked up on my partners phone, so I jumped on the history and he'd been looking at half naked and naked chicks on facebook! Now I'm not overweight but it still left me feeling upset and jealous. I have saggy breasts and the women he'd looked at had nice big round ones. Made me feel really crap. So I had a little cry to him and told him how it made me feel and he was respectful enough to say it won't happen again.
I don't really have any advice, just that you are not alone! xxx
I used to get really jealous about hubby having a perve. I have always had a kinda bad body image. We spoke about it well I cried he listened he understood and reassured me. Now when we are out he will usually point out the skinny ones with the ass cheeks hanging out and make a funny comment. I think it also helped having our daughter when I point out I wouldn't let her leave the house wearing that he usually agrees. I've even started prepping her and if we are out and see a girl wearing short shorts or something I will make a comment to her like oh my look you can see her bottom or see her nickers. I don't mind my kids wear shorts but modest shorts.
I think you should be teaching acceptance of other people from a young age and not grooming your child to be judgemental of people and what they wear. At the end of the day, does it hurt you if a girl wears revealing clothes? If your child goes to the beach or public pool, is she going to feel ashamed when she wears her togs or sees other people in togs? The human body isn't something people should be ashamed of. Everyone has a bum, legs, arms, nipples, belly button, etc. You are being a bully by bitching about these girls and what they wear and your daughter will probably end up like that too.
Hi fellow IM . I am a skinny girl and I would say attractive enough...yet my partner would still check other girls out. Unfortunately no matter your size or your looks your man will always look at and admire other women, that's just men! Don't take it personally. I think however he does need to be more respectful and not look at them while he is with you. I think you need to work on your own self confidence as no matter how thin you get its all in your mind. Xx
guys are gonna do it no matter what you look like or how much he loves you... you have to admit the female body is pretty superb!! whether im looking at a size 8 or 10 or 14 or 16 chik, i still find beauty in it and i assume men are the same... beauty really is on the inside - when you realise that, it will start to shine through <3 xxx
Thanks gorgeous ladies for all your comments makes me feel that tad better knowing im not the only jealous type wifey out there , I get so wrapped up when he gets caught perving that I wanna gauge his eyeballs out lol!! Obviously would never do that but they don't understand how it can make us feel about ourselves.and yes correct our bodies change so drastically after having children , I now have saggy breasts, stretch marks, cellulite bum , over hang stomach and size 14-16 and my hubby well he grew a beard lol no big changes still fit , I would never change being a mum but wish was easy just to get back in to shape. I will try and work on my self esteem tho and try not bothering me to much
Believe me you are so not the only one I'm feeling ya!.. I get jealous when my partner perves and he used to be real bad doing it ALL the time but after I spoke to him he has cut back on the whole 'having a stare' lol ..
When my Ex and I used to go out he would have a perve. in the end I started pointing chicks out to him asking. how about her? what do you think of her butt?, are her boobs perky enough for you? her waist small enough? I didn't really mind too much, would have bothered me less if he was looking at chicks my size though it started annoying him and he got the point. Having a perve is fine by me its when they take action and start talking and flirting with them that I have an issue with it.
If you want to change yourself and loose weight do it only you can do it. Have the right mindset and priorities it. 85% of weight loss is diet. Maybe look at that. I am sure you will succeed if you put your mind to to it. Good Luck.
I'm am in the same boat as you. I've just had our 3rd and last baby and I'm rather chunky now, and my husband doesn't s the same skinny girls or chicks with big boobs and it really makes me feel horrible about myself as after my car accident a few years ago I will never be the same in my tummy. I've spoken to him about it and he says he doesn't realise that it is happening and it's just out of habit. It shouldn't be a habit. My solution is I've stopped going in public with my husband. If I can't see it I don't know it's happening, and when he does it I show him absolutely no affection and I ignore him he doesn't understand when he does it that it really affects me. But when I do it I'm a bad person and is hipacritical. We saw a marriage counciling chick as this was one of our biggest issues and she advised that we work through it as a couple.
I have always been overweight and have pretty huge self esteem/ confidence issues. My partner is slim. Actually I've never been in a serious relationship with a bigger guy. For starters he shouldn't be making it so obvious, as thats disrespectful, I do think its only natural to perve, I know i do it, but never would i make it obvious especially when in the company of my partner. When i do get insecure over anything my partner always reminds me that he's with me and love me etc. Although I can't remember a time when my partner has made me feel insecure over someone else.