I've become an unintentional crisis carer. Have I taken too much on?

Hi IM's

This is a long story, so I'll try and cut it down as best as I can.

I am a single mum to 3 kids. I've had a 50/50 arrangement with the fathers (yes, there are 2 dads) for quite some time. My eldest is 11 and has recently moved in full time (about 2-3 months ago) after having difficulties that couldn't be worked out with her stepmum. My boys are 9 and almost 2, and still go 50/50 mostly with their dads. I have the toddler every day after day care, regardless of whose week it is as the center is 4 doors away from me. I work full time, and recently moved my office to home, so I could be available more for my children and their ever increasing busy schedules. We were just starting to get into a good routine and then a friends child ran away and come here.

This isn't the first time the child has come here. Her story in itself is long and very upsetting. She is an only child and has been mostly with her mother only since birth. The mother has a history of alcoholism and verbal abuse, and refuses to seek help. About 2 years ago, she physically assaulted the child in a drunken rage. Ther police removed the child from her mother, and sent her to her father, whom she'd only ever heard aggressive rants about from her mother. Over a period of 18 months, court orders were drawn up and the father now has full custody. 2 weeks into the new custody arrangement, the child was assaulted by her step-mum, and verbally abused by her at school and in front of her peers (including my daughter). The child ran away...to her mothers house. That is where she has been for the past 6 months. The mother and child fight like nothing else, and of course the mother drinks a lot, sometimes going on a 4 day bender of alcohol and verbal attacks. The child has come to my place a few times, and I've always been able to calm her down within a few hours or at most, overnight. I've always made time to talk to the mother and calm her down as well. This time, I was working from home on Monday, with my eldest son home sick with a cold, and the runaway turned up in tears at lunch time. She said they'd been fighting, and that mum had been drinking since the previous Thursday, and she was scared that her mum was going to really hurt her or herself this time. Before I'd even had a chance to let the mum know that her child was here, she had started texting abuse at me, and my involvement. Over the next fews hours, while looking after my sick son, calming a stressed out runaway down, and taking client calls for work, I managed to get a few texts back to the mum and she seemed to be calming down. I returned her daughter home after work hours, and while the mum looked angry, she seemed reasonable enough. I hadn't even driven back into my driveway when the child phoned me and started begging for help. I could hear a struggle and yelling, and then the phone was dropped. By this time, I had all 3 of my own children home and couldn't just turn around and pick the kid up, so I called the police.

While I was talking to the police, the child arrived at my house again, clearly having been physically abused, so I was certain that calling the police was the right thing to do.

The police came about an hour later, spoke to the child, spoke to me, and then left to speak to the mum. When they returned, they said that mum was clearly intoxicated and that they'd seen signs of a fight. They told me they'd contacted the dad (who has custody) and he had declined to take the child. They said there was no crisis care available at the time, and that instead she should stay with me as her best and safest option. Now remember, she has an alcoholic mother who is furious with me already for being involved (even if it was not my choice), and I have 3 children of my own that have never seen anything like this in their lives. The police left, and said they'd get some referrals in place for the child and mother to get some help, and that was it.

The next morning, I went to the school and organised some uniforms so the child could return as soon as possible, collected a bucket of clothing from a friend who's daughter had outgrown them, arranged a lift for the child to get to her swim meets each afternoon, and took her shopping for underwear and toiletries, and took her to a doctors appointment because on top of everything else, the child has just had influenza B!

Yesterday afternoon, I received a call from the childs dad, who was quick to remind me that the consent orders state that she is his if he should so choose. The child has run away from her mother several times because the mum has threatened to return her to dad, so I know that if she was back with him, she'd be gone in a blink of an eye, except he lives rurally, and she would not have a safe place to go. Having said that, the father has not asked to take her. He instead told me a story of his woes, and how hard life is for him, and how he's under the pump, and a whole lot of other BS I don't care about.

I guess my question is, have I taken on too much? I can't see how I can continue to stretch my resources, time, sanity for an indefinite amount of time, as nobody seems to want this kid. I'm worried about the impact this has on my children, because quite frankly, they're terrified that either the drunk mum, or the aggressive dad, are going to turn up at our house at any hour. Is there an alternative that I haven't considered, that won't see this child shunted off again by another person she's asked to place trust in?