Hi! My little boy has just turned 5 in March and is in Prep. Before he went to prep he went to Kindergarten and before that he went to daycare 2 days a week. I have never had any complaints about his behaviour before and have only ever been praised on what a funny, well behaved child he was. Since he has started prep I have been receiving complaints weekly about his behaviour. Things like he was sent to time out for playing when he was supposed to be packing up and running on the concrete. In addition to this he seems to have a low tolerance for frustration which has never been noticed before as he had more freedom in previous settings. With other children and with his school work, sometimes even with family members he can get frustrated, annoyed and just cranky in general. When he gets to this high level of frustration/annoyance he usually takes himself off and sits quietly by himself (with a grumpy look on his face) until he calms down and then returns to the group fine and happy without prompting when he's ready. This usually takes no longer than 10 minutes. We have run into a major hurdle now that he's at school as his teacher sees this as a sign of defiance and forces him to return to the group straight away resulting in him having an almighty emotional meltdown completely disrupting the class. There seems to be a focus on forcing him to conform. The teacher has told me she is extremely concerned about his emotional wellbeing and has referred him to the school councellor. Between these "melt downs"at school his behaviour is fine. Well mannered and generally well behaved. I have had his eye sight and hearing tested which was all good. He has never before showed any signs of adhd or any defiance disorders. In fact I always praised him for removing himself and calming down before returning when he was home. Has anyone else had any problems like this when their child started school? I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm so worried about my little boy. Is this behaviour so bad? If having a low frustration and annoyance toleration is just part of his character how SHOULD he deal with it? I've seen photos of him in class and he just looks so unhappy. I must add that his teacher seems like a lovely, quiet spoken middle aged teacher with plenty of experience teaching but this is her first year teaching prep.
4 Replies
Might be time to discuss with the principle. I think you have taught him an excellent coping mechanism and the teacher just hasn't caught up with you! I think with the help of the principle a compromise will be easily sought where your son gets the time he needs to cool down, I know sons schools have a 'cool down area' which is just a bean bag or similar.
Get him tested for a learning disability.. My child was exactly the same as yours starting prep. The teachers pushed me to get him tested for ADHD so I did but paed said no. He repeated prep and it wasn't until grade 2 they realised something else might of been going on. Turns out he had a mild learning disability and he qualified for a part time teachers aide.. The difference in him is amazing..
Had the teachers not pushed for ADHD it would of been picked up a lot earlier.
My 5yo boy started playing up this year since starting prep too. Use to be a little angel he was the best behaved little boy! I'm not sure what he's like at school, the teacher hasn't said he mid behaves so he must be alright. But as soon as I pick him up from school he's a night mare.. No advice but will be following this post. Hopefully it's just a stage they go through.. Good luck!
I understand where you are coming from. Both my children changed from happy go lucky children to upset, frustrated angry children. I couldn't understand it until they commented they were bored and not being challenged enough. I even had one of them sobbing that she didn't want to go to school. That's so unlike my child. So I approached the teacher (the same in both cases) and when I got no satisfaction I went higher until I managed to get results. Sometimes a child needs a firmer hand and even though some teachers are gentle they don't have the strength to cope with all children. Please question what they are learning. He may need to learn not be babied.