I just don't know what to do anymore. I have 2 kids and I find myself getting so angry & frustrated with them. My youngest was a difficult baby, he cried A LOT so i think most of my problems stem from that. I have gotton much worse the last couple of months to the point where I'm swearing & mouthing off at both kids. The youngest is 1, could this be a sign of postnatal? Seems a bit late for that. I've tried talking to my hubby, but all he says is he doesn't understand & maybe I should go back to work. I love being a stay at home mum, but it just seems my irrational anger is getting worse. I saw a doctor & he said it wasn't pnd & I should see a therapist, which I'm not too keen on. I feel I'm failing as a mother & that my kids are suffering as a result.
3 Replies
Go see a therapist! They can help you work through strategies so that your not doing this. But strategies that would help are
1. Put your kids in daycare for a day or two so you and them can have a break.
2. Start exercising, burning off steam etc in constructive ways
3. Enrol in a parenting class like Triple P
4. Go to the therapist and talk about what sets you off
5. Think about wether you really like being a stay at home mum or if you like the idea more than the reality and if part time work would make you happier.
That is fantastic advice by the first person who answered this question!! I also have 2 young children and find myself getting very angry at times especially around periods! Like you it is completely irrational. What I am finding is helping is working part time as it gives you some time away from being mum and get to talk with!!! It's a great balance half my week is spending time with my children and other half is working, I really look forward to my days with my children now whereas when I was at home it was just too much for me to manage. The other thing helping me is exercise 4 times a week just on my treadmill at home early in mornings! This allows me to get rid of some steAm and is also helping with weight loss! Talking to a counsellor can also be very helpful but maybe try a few strategies first yoursrlf and if your still struggling get your gp to refer you to 6 free counselling sessions. All the best x
I had pnd after 6 months and how I felt sounds very similar to what you described added in with feeling completely inadequate, wanting to run a mile. I was resistant to therapy but went anyway with a 'whatever' attitude. Therapy was not at all what I expected - I thought we'd be delving into some hidden childhood trauma for why I felt the way I did. Not so. It was more about having someone to chat to about where I felt I didn't handle things well and where I felt I did and creating strategies to get more of the good outcomes. I only needed 5 sessions (and Some help with medication for 5 months) and I felt like a new woman. I also did go back to work. It helped to be in an environment where I didn't have to guess all the time - I got to feel like I had half an idea what I was doing for a few hours a week! It may not be PND but it does sound like possible depression. I would go to another GP for a second opinion. I found the anger thing really hard to cope with because I enjoyed how powerful the anger emotion made me feel but of course once the anger passes the guilt is absolutely crushing. I would also suggest you look at - are you on the pill? It could be impacting you in a different way to before you had your youngest - it does not agree with me at all since having children and I was like Jekyll and Hyde on it. When did you last have your iron and vit B levels checked? These can have an impact on your mood too and I found supplements helpful - they didn't solve it for me but they helped to reduce how extreme my reactions were.