How do I stop being so insecure and over thinking everything all the time?
To the point where I binge drink just to be able to stop overthinking for a bit but then when I sober up its even worse with me replaying the night and analysing everything I did and said.
Things have happened in my past which make me doubt everyones motivations all the time.
The past issues also have a deep inset belief in me that there's something wrong with me and a constant need to please.
I know logically I shouldn't worry about what others think of me but we live in a very small town and a LOT gets back to you, it's amazing what you find out about yourself or what you supposedly said...
Anyways as I said I logically understand the people that matter won't care and the people that care shouldn't matter But living it out is another thing!
It's getting so bad I feel sick turning down an invite to go somewhere cause I worry they may talk about me if I'm not there.
At the same time I do a home business that is all about people so I need to be out and about connecting and building relationships.
I feel like everyone has someone they can trust, their "bestie" as such except me, it's getting all too hard for me and I'm wondering if there's something wrong with me but then that could be my over analysing again.
Anyways all that to say have any of you IM's felt this way? Did you overcome it?
How, logically and practically did you do it?
Insecurity with everyone!
Insecurity with everyone!
Posted in:
Mental Health, Relationships & Marriage
2 Replies
I felt like this. what was being said behind my back, who was in believing it, who could I trust. I eventually learnt that no matter what was being said behind my back, there was a lot from my ex, that I couldn't control it. There are times when you just have to let go, understand that if you are the topic of discussion that's their problem not yours. My favourite saying is "what other people say about you, is none of your business" because it isn't. I've had rumours of me being a junkie, my daughter getting taken off me by docs, my partner forcing me to take drugs - none of which is true, I would never do anything like that. I was always paranoid about what else could have been said, but now no matter what is said I couldn't give a rats ass because I know the truth. It took a lot of time and a lot of convincing myself every time I wondered what other people were saying about me. For me it was only my ex trying to make me look bad and others spreading it, my true friends knew the truth anyway. I never felt that I couldn't go to things either, I was happy to miss out. It's a little bit troubling how you are feeling and you should go see a counsellor or psychologist to get to the bottom of why and work through those issues. A little outside help doesn't hurt and you don't have to tell anyone if you aren't ready about it, also remember its ok and they are bound by confidentiality so they won't talk about you or anything you say either, just thought I would add that in just incase. I hope you start feeling better and be able to trust others again soon.
A lot of what you have said I can relate too, especially the over thinking. I have anxiety and depression. I would suggest seeing your doctor and finding a great counsellor. Sometimes speaking to someone like a counsellor helps to understand that what you are thinking might not necessairly be true or logical. Negative self talk is such a hard thing to overcome. I find that when I'm busy I don't think about things as much. Look after yourself, take some time to do what makes you happy. Find something that relaxes you. Exercise is great as it releases endorphins and tires you at physically. Also make sure you get enough sleep and eat food that makes you feel good. When I feel down I over eat and eat unhealthy which always makes me feel worse. Perhaps find a hobby where you can meet new people. Also don't place to much pressure on yourself, you can do this Hun. Good luck.