Hello I'm am looking for advise on how to handle and sticky situation!! Sorry for the long post!!!
My brother in law and mother In law are two very strong willed opinionated people! I consider myself to be very open minded and pretty easy going! However I have just given birth to my second child and have a 14 month old at home and don't really have time for anyone's crap or opinions at the moment!!
My problem is that my brother in law doesn't vaccinate his children and he has his mum convinced that people that judge him just don't know what there talking about and we are the idiots for vaccinating!!
They live overseas so we never see them but they are coming to Australia tomorrow and of coarse they want to meet my new born!!!
I have spoken with my partner about this and I don't want his brothers kids around mine especially my new born because they aren't vaccinated! They also go to school and have just traveled on a plain to get here who knows what they have picked up along the way!
Now the MIL and BIL are guilt tripping me saying there not sure when they will be back to Australia and they really want to see our kids my MIL is trying to say I'm being unreasonable and I can't keep my kids away from family!!! I honestly feel like I want rip there faces off! I feel like it's all about them and There not even considering my feelings! My parter doesn't even speak to his brother or mother they come through me and I just stay friendly for the kids sake but I'm just at my wits end I guess what I'm asking is how do you think I should handle the situation I'm defiantly sticking to my guns about them not coming in contact with my kids!! Any advise will be appreciated thank you
Sorry Again for the long post
immunisation
immunisation
Posted in:
Health & Wellbeing, Baby & Toddler
17 Replies
I don't think you are being unreasonable I wouldn't either!
Totally think you should stick to your guns! Send your MIL the information on how many children have died from whooping cough.
Then stick to your guns, they have no right to put your children at risk. You absolutely can keep these people away from your child and it is not your problem if they live overseas.
Tell them if your kids got sick you would never forgive yourself or them. Then make it clear if they want to discuss anything wake they know how to use the phone but the 'debate' on this issue is over.
If your husband is happy with the decision then that's the only persons opinion that should matter to you. If they stop speaking to you that is there problem.
Thank you yes I feel that there is no point in discussing our differences! If they choose to not except me and my beliefs then it's there loss and not mine!!! It's nice to know I'm not just being "hormonal" about this and I am doing the right thing!!!
i think your being unreasonable. vaccinations help the person thats vaccinated,. That has nothing to do with your newborn. vaccinated ppl are the same as non vaccinated people as they can still carry the virus. Being vaccinated helps protect the person who was vaccinated not anyone else!!! make them wear a breathing mask and wash their hands ig your concerned.
actually unvaccinated people carry the diseases and spread infection vaccinated people are not carriers unless they are one of the very very small tiny minority of people who don't build immunity from the vaccination.
Thats not true. Everyone can carry it. What your saying is a common misconception.
As long as anyone showing and signs of sickness DOESNT come in contact with the baby then the baby will be fine :)
But of course you can be contagious before or without ever showing any signs. I like the idea of making them wear protection as a ccompromise. But if husband isn't interested, why compromise with people who can't respect your right to an opinion on protecting your baby and who want to trample on you and it will upset you. Why bother, I wouldn't? Tell them next time, when your kids are older and vaccinated.
Completly false both vaccinated and unvaccinated children can carry equally
It's comments like this that can show how uneducated a lot of people are on both sides of the debate
We need more NON EMOTIONAL conversations and people need to stop getting their nickers in a knot so educated discussions can be had. and false statements like this won't be just regurgitated and fuel another uneducated opinion
Facts. It would be wonderful if people could learn facts before joining in with stating them.
Sincerely a vaccinating parent
exactly...unvaccinated kids versus unvaccinated are both still a risk with a newborn. don't discriminate
children attending school and traveling internationally and spending long times on aeroplanes would be higher risk. I don't think this parent is being unreasonable.
Look up herd immunity. Vaccinated people protect those who cannot ie. Newborns, HIV/aids sufferers, etc, obviously nothing is 100% but why would you risk non vax? I will not let non vaccinated people near my newborns because if I can try my best to protect them I will. Travel, aeroplanes etc, these people pose a massive risk, a lot of recent infections such as measles have come from visitors too. People in 3rd world country's die from the diseases that we can easily vaccinate against. How insulting to those people when we have access and health care that have rapidly reduced so many diseases.
I would be noping their butts right back to MIL's house and telling them to stay away. No way would I be okay with unvaccinated people (kids, adults, anyone) who've just been traveling with god knows who around my newborn baby. Older kids with a stronger immune systems sure, but not a newborn.
Stay strong and good luck IM
I would be saying NO! I have friends who's children aren't vaccinated and they stayed away from my newborn voluntarily and even said they'd stay away until my daughter was old enough to be vaccinated herself even though my partner her father was going to tell me I couldn't vaccinate her (I did it anyway) these day my friends kids (who all had severe reactions to the vaccinations) and my kids are close. It up to us the people who can vaccinate to protect those who can't handle vaccinations. It's a freedom of choice but I am with you if they got your baby sick you would never forgive them and you'd never forgive yourself for allowing them to come into contact with your kids. It's their choice to not vaccinate but it's your choice not to let them see your kids and its a smart choice especially with whats happened in the past few weeks.
I had this same issue with some Inlaws when my daughter was born. The person that wanted to come see my daughter was still getting over shingles. Their was no hope in hell she was going to see my baby. If you choose not to expose your child to unvaccinated children then that's your choice as a parent and they need to respect your wishers.
I can see why your freaking, I did too, however looking back, you could catch any of these things of you take your baby to the supermarket, cafe, Kindy, the park or anywhere really. i do get the concern though.
Sorry but I agree with your mil. Just because they arnt immunised doesn't mean they carry diseases.. They are your babies cousins and will always be family. Your child is going to be exposed to thousands of people who arnt vaccinated in their life time. Good luck!
Your child will be exposed to risk , but we do our best to protect our unvaccinated and more vulnerable newborns from this exposure. I just don't get why so many people are saying abour shopping centres, schools, all these public placplace Yes, most mums I know also Don't expose their newborn there either! Most mums I know keep themie newborn home until first vacc and at least babywear when out, and minimize exposure. We don't have strangers cuddling kissing and getting in our newborns face.
Why are people telling her that because the public is a risk, she should just take another high risk anyway?
Just makes no sense to me.