(Sorry it's a bit of a long rant) I have had 2 c sections (first one emergency and second one elective due to doctors recommendation) and if I have a third baby I know I will have to have another one. I am fine with this and have finally gotten over the feelings of failure, being upset about not getting to hold my baby straight away etc. that is until a friend of mine constantly talks about how lucky I am that I "get" to have c sections rather than go through labour. She has had two vaginal births and thinks that it would be so nice to just go and get them "cut out without feeling a thing" (her words) I try to explain to her that it isn't that simple and that I would love to be able to have natural births like our bodies are supposed to be made to do but she still sees it as the easy way out. She makes it sound like I haven't had to work hard to get my babies just like she has. just wanting to know how other c section mummy's deal with this. I know I shouldn't let it bother me and we all have different experiences etc but it's really frustrating. Thanks xx
13 Replies
I'm hearing ya sister!!! What they don't realise is that along with having a newborn to deal with, we also are recovering from major abdominal surgery. And because we haven't naturally given birth, it takes longer for our bodies to adjust and produce milk (if we're even lucky enough to produce milk). Our birthing partner (hubby, mum, whoever) has to watch us go through this surgery and they can barely touch us let alone tell us we are doing a great job. I had someone close say to me "why would you even choose to have a c-section, just because your first resulted in emergency?" Ummm... Because I'd rather have a safe, calm birthing experience rather than almost die along with my baby which is why we resulted in an emergency c-section. It's not easy, it's mentally, emotionally and physically stressful and and it makes me mad when people say it's an easy option. At the end of the day though, don't let them get to you - you're being a great mum by ensure your newest addition arrives into the world safe and sound, and that's all that matters. It's not anyone else's business whatsoever. Good luck with it all, hope you and baby have a safe delivery :)
I've just had my 3 rd section 7 wks ago. I hate when ppl say its a cop out to have a section blah blah blah anyone that's had a section will know all the comments. I personally think it takes a stronger person to lay on table have ppl slice them open while awake feel everything besides pain and then look after anew born. I'm not saying natural isn't painful but until u know feel and deal with a section they have no idea what a section is about
All my births have been vaginal and i couldn't think of anything worse than if i had to have a c section after a natural birth you can just get up and walk around and be normal but after a c section you have recovery time i imagine it would be very painful you would get scaring. So i personally think we who have been blessed to be able to have a natural birth are a lot more lucky. Give me pain and the emmedeite bond any day over being forced to have something cut out of me then have recovery and all the rest that goes with a c section. Shes the lucky one and she needs to realise that. Best of luck
I've had 3 vaginal births and all were relatively easy labours/births and my sister has had 3 c-sections and I can tell you now the recovery from a c-section is a hell of a lot more worse then Labour and birthing a baby vaginally. Whether you give birth vaginally or byc-section, it doesn't really matter how they are born as long as they are healthy. It's not a competition and what a lousy friend for making you feel that way!
yep hear it all the time. I want a third but knowing it will be c section and the pain and recovery is a lot fresher in my head 5 yrs later than a vag birtg would be. We wear the scars every day. c sections can cause adhesions and get infected and burst and stop milk production and ruin self esteem. tell ur friend straight up to give it up or stop being friends with her. shes clearly not taking ur feelings into consideration especially with bub on the way.
Your friend is a douche. There's a hell of a lot more that goes into a c-section than just getting cut open.
Haha Shannon I had a good laugh at this comment. Thank you :) xx
I had 3 natural and 1c-sec.. I personally prefered the c-sec and if I were to have anymore (not at all gonna happen) I would have another. However for someone to comment on something they have never experienced is not only sheer stupidity its also quite rude.
I would tell you friend to go have her bell cut open then deal with a newborn plus any other duties required for the weeks after major surgery then she can comment!!
You also have to realise that some vaginal births can be worse than surgery! Mine was horrific and 3 days of hell, not to mention the weeks and weeks it took me to get over it and the pain of trying to be a new mum and not even being able to pee without crying in pain from my 25 stitches. while i get how you could feel annoyed by people saying its the easy option for me i couldn't imagine anything worse than what i had and would choose a c section next time in a heart beat. It really can work both ways.
Iv'e had both C section and a vaginal and they were both awful! I think that the Vaginal was slightly worse even! stitches, hemorrhoids, retained placenta, crushed nerve in pelvis and a very bruised and beaten up baby that was in pain from the day she was born. I'm with you on this one, if I have a third baby its C section all the way.
That must have been horrible for you! I didn't mean that I thought I had it any worse than anyone having a vaginal birth but meant it hurt that she seems to think that a c section is an easier alternative to ANY vaginal birth.
I've had vaginal & don't think you have it easier. Once they were out, I was done. You have the pain of recovery with C's. There is no easy way. Hugs.
I have had one vaginal birth and if all goes as planned I will deliver my 2nd the same way. I think that labor and delivery and having a child is a blessing and a miracle no matter how they come into the world. But your friend does need to do her research. To say it's easy to have a c-sec is very naive. Especially when your trying to recover and have a toddler plus baby to look after. Oh and not to mention that it is a major surgery. Nothing easy about it.