I'm a single mother of a 4 month old daughter. My ex was a drug addict and I left him 7 months ago. I have my own place, just my daughter and I and I get soo lonely. I had a friend which I disowned just recently because she hadn't made an effort to come see me and my daughter at all. My other friend lives with her fiancee and only comes to see me on a Saturday during the day if she's not busy. My sister is married with 2 kids and it's hard for her to come see me as her children keep her busy. I just don't know what to do at times..... I don't want to join mother's group because half the women in their are fake and judgmental. I have a male friend, but he's engaged and lives with his fiancee. Everyone I know has a partner and their too busy to chill with me. I thought about joining Tinder just to meet a female friend, but most are lesbians and I couldn't trust them as they may not be who they say they are. It's just too hard to go anywhere with a baby and I will not leave her, she stays by my side at all times.
6 Replies
It's time to push your boundaries a little bit. Go meet your sister and her kids somewhere, you can't expect people to come to you all the time. You have to be prepared to mix it up. Try some more mothers groups, not everyone at mothers groups are fake. I'm sure there are a few fake people, or people you don't get along with, but there are good mums out there.
Also look at the 'meet-up' website and see if there is a group that suits your needs.
Have you considered if you have some kind of social anxiety? Have you spoken to your GP?
No-one comes here, only one of my friends. I'm always at mum and dad's or at my sister's. It's hard when your baby needs to sleep and can't sleep too well on someone's couch. She's very unsettled sleeping elsewhere unless she's at home.
I learned that unless you put bubs in those situations they don't learn to cope with those situations.
you can help her adjust to sleeping in the pram both at home and away, it can help make the transition easier if you have something which is always available which is "same"
I found the groups run by the church are a bit different to most "mothers groups" because while it's mostly mothers due to time availability its more about socialising women of various age groups and developing life skills than focusing on kids.
Also due to this it's the mothers who are in a wider but closer age group rather than focusing on the age of the children. So everyone is living with the challenges of kids of all ages.
you don't have to be religious to go along and they don't shove scripture down your throat.
I think you need to make more of an effort lovely. You can't expect everyone to come visit you, you need to get out of your comfort zone too and venture out. I wouldn't give up on the mothers group idea. I've meet two of my best friends through mothers group. You need to change your attitude and make things happen not expect things to turn out how you want them to. Good luck and i hope you take some of the advice on board.
I've been a single mum for 4 years, I have a fair few friends but they don't really understand, I had my son just after my eighteenth birthday so all my friends were still in party mode.
I bit the bullet about 12 months ago and downloaded POF on my phone, on my profile I stated friends only. I have met a lot of wonderful people on there. Yes there are some who want sex or are just creepy, but those people could be any of the people we pass in the street. I now have quite a few friends that I am really close to.
They are all men, but I get along with men much better than women anyway, the bitchiness, getting dressed up to go out and boyfriends have never really been my thing.
Try joining something, sometimes friends without kids can be just as good as friends with kids. A close friend of mine (met on POF) regularly brings his nephew for play dates. Think outside the box.