I need a break. In a nutshell.
Over the last few months I have been slipping emotionally. I'm strung out, stressed over worked and definitely inderpaid. I have 3 awesome kids (7,4,2) but I'm sure they have begun to block out the sound of my voice, because every time I say something, it falls on deaf ears. I have seen my doc and she suggested I maybe need to take a 'time out' not from my marriage, btw my husband is a wonderful man, but just to be able to breath again.
I spoke to my hubby the other day about taking our eldest up to cairns to visit a long time friend of mine in the June/July holidays for a couple of days, my friend has 4 boys and and figured my son could go crazy with them on the farm while I have a few days to chill with the adults. Have some me time.
He said 'u can do what what ever u like' BUT, and rattled a million things about how he was going to cope with out me there, what the cost will be, he'll have to take time off work etc. it just made me feel so guilty for wanting to do something for myself. And I wasn't really going to be alone anyway. And proceeded to say he never gets a break from work and what's the guarantee that I will come back 'feeling better' about everything. I've even organised extra day care on the days that I won't be here so he can resume a normal work week.
I guess the problem is now, if I go, I'll feel like he's going to resentful towards me after he has expressed his 'concerns' and if I dont go I'll end up resenting myself for not doing it. Just really wanting to have a vent and ask if there are any ladies or gents out there who have taken a 'time out'. Did it work/help. Please be kind with ur responses, I'm feeling pretty venerable atm. Thank you.
I need a break. Am I selfish?
I need a break. Am I selfish?
Posted in:
Self Care, Parenthood Guilt
5 Replies
I take a time out every year and both my parents took timeouts too. My sister and her husband take time outs also. We don't take any kids at all and is usually a long weekend. That way it doesn't eat into family holiday time. Sometimes out timeouts are just going to stay at my mums so we can be children for the weekend, sometimes it's alone in a hotel, sometimes it's a girls weekend. We do it regularly so we don't get to burnout stage.
It's a couple of days...to a week...it is NOT a life time. Your husband will be fine!! He might struggle but i'm sure he will cope fine and if he doesn't there are others he can call for help I assume? GO! Be strong with your choice and go. I have taken a few days break and it was the best thing I could have ever done. You need to do this and not feel bad about it. You have to take care of yourself to be able to care for others. If you don't go you WILL resent him over time i've seen it with my own family members how resentful they can become and it can often fall onto the children. go have fun :)
That sounds awesome and just what you need. I think your husband needs to be more supportive. Maybe explain it to him again just how badly youre hanging on at the moment. There's no guarantee it'll help but it sounds like it would and why not try?!! Telling you no there is no break absolutely guaranteed will not helP.
I'd be making sure you both get some breaks in the future. :) don't feel guilty for going, enjoy and when you get back start planning his break. Everyone needs time to themselves
Don't feel guilty about going but make sure you work out a time your hubby can have a time out too :)