I know its not just me but us it this bad for other mums?
Back story.... My husband works a lot... This week hes gone from 830am to after 8pm two nights and away over night three nights. He generally only has Sunday off if that.
I have a very busy 2.5 year old and a 4 month old. I feel like a single parent with an extra adult to clean up after as well. My house is a total mess all the time. I don't have the energy to clean it constantly which is what it takes to keep it tidy. Today there is stuff t ALL over the lounge floor, can't even see the floor in my bedroom, every dish in the house including cutlery is dirty, bathroom needs cleaning, washing needs done, about 3 loads clean washing needs putting away. At least my sons room is clean though.
We spend a lot of time out at play groups so we don't have to be at home. I at least try to keep the kitchen clean but about once a week it gets like it is now.
Not sure what my question is... I guess I'm wondering if I'm not the only one failing on this? I feel like I'm not doing good enough.
I know its not just me...
I know its not just me...
Posted in:
Mental Health, Parenthood Guilt, Health & Wellbeing, Baby & Toddler
8 Replies
You are not alone! I've certainly been there, I know a friend has been their and I've seem my clients in this position. Also other mums have written in about the same issue. The good news is it doesn't have to be this way for ever and you can gain some traction back. As you have a busy 2.5 year old have you considered day care for a day or two a week? You are carrying a lot if responsibility and it sounds like 2.5 year old will appreciate the entertainment etc and it's great prep for kindy/school and will give you a chance to breathe which our kids benefit from immensely and give you time to gain some traction. As for cleaning up I like the washing basket system. Get a washing basket fill it up with some of the stuff on the floor then sort to bin, washing, donate, keep. Be harsh though and realistic because I've found one of the reasons I had mess was I had a ridiculous amount of stuff I didn't need. We only now have enough clothes to do 10 days plus 2/3 good outfits. More clothes equals more clutter and sorting! Allocate time in your day to do at least one basket sort a day of junk. Also your 2.5 year old should be able to help pack his own toys away now at the end of each day so set aside a time before dinner or bed where packing away toys are part of your routine. As you start to gain some traction you will start to feel better, life will become easier and you'll find you waste less money because you will know what you have and won't be making repeat purchases. I don't think it hurts to get a mental health check with GP either as I become really messy, unfocused and disorganised when I'm depressed which makes me more depressed. Good luck
Nope not just you! My house is a sty right now... Since the start of the week its desperately needed cleaning and i still haven't got to it, put a load in the machine and its still there, i have a uni assignment due today so still cant do it. Its ok. It happens. :)
My house can get the same :/ if u own ur own home do ur self a favour and install a dishwasher it's a god sent. I currently have 4 loads of washing to put away toys in the lounge room and need to mop the floor. I usually write myself a list with the most important things at the top. Start at the top and work ur way through mark each job off so at the end of the day u can see some achievement that u have done, most of all don't stress the mess isn't going any where and will be their tomorrow :)
My husband works away monday to friday and I have a 15mth old, my sister and her bf just moved in with us aswell! Most of the time I feel like a mum of 4, I understand exactly how you feel. I love it when dh come home and say oh didnt you vacume this week...im pretty sure miss 1 cleans up more that any those 3 do. Sorry rant over :) suffice to say I understand.
I dont really have much advice other that I became the queen of the plastic tub! You can chuck stuff in without much fuss and the place is tidy. I try to have miss tidy up one thing before she trashes another, it works most of the time. And as for the washing I fold and sort as I pull it off the line/dryer to save double handling. And I try to make a habit of putting away one basket a day before bed. I also agree with chuck stuff, this one was hard for me, I went through one draw a day of our clothes, then the other crap cupboards and sorted them out. I tossed anything that wasnt worth keeping, donated the clothes that I dont fit into and put all the random bits id like to keep into tubs in the garage. I have heaps of space now.
most of all dont stress, so long as your babies are feed and clothed your doing fine :)
Certainly not alone!!! My husband works 6 days from 8am till 10pm and then on day 7 he works 8am till 3.30 so very much feeling like I'm doing it solo, but also need to feed and wash etc for hubby. The thing that helps is knowing how hard he is working to give us the best he can. I have a 7,5 and 1year old. I try and do one chore a day to keep head above water, and I kick myself if I forget or don't get a chance to put a load of washing on. If you can put a load of wading on each day it's only small but stops it building up (even if it's not put away at least they are clean). But he kind to yourself don't beat yourself up. Living life and creating memories for our kids is more important than cleaning. Before we know out kids will be all grown up. Take one day at a time. Also if you feel really run down might be worth a trip to dr to check iron, thyirod and vitD levels.
In the same boat here. 4boys under 13 n a busy working husband and l wrk 5 days. Music is a fun way to get every one cleaning up together. For the washing which is endless here lol. Put washing on of a nite wen done anything that can be put on a coat hanger use it then hang it around the house so in the morning wen dry it can be hung straight away. I have different colour coat hanger for each of the kids. You can purchase small coathangers for the little one. Happy washing and enjoy ur kids as there is challenges at every stage. Chin up :-)
Yep I feel you. That sounds exactly like my life. However I have PND so struggle to make myself leave the house. Also struggling with low iron levels and an elimination diet for suspected gluten and dairy intolerance as well as a 10 month old going through the same elimination. Both children waking up multiple times a night..it's a struggle.
If we could afford it I'd be getting a nanny. I have friends who have one or have previously had one and say it was the best decision they ever made. Might be worth looking into if you can afford it.
Hope things pick up for you soon :)
Yep, this is life with young kids. My advice though would be, one Sunday get in there and get the place cleaned with your husbands help.. Then write yourself a chart... Maybe tackle one thing a day. Clothes washing Wednesdays, sweep and mop Mondays, it should only take about half an hr. If things get untidy between then who cares!!! You can have a tidy house when your kids are grown.