I don't know where to start with this so it will problem be a little all over the place and probably won't make sense but here goes and I'm sorry for the novel.
This year has been a huge year for my son and I. I had a relationship break up (my sons step dad) and his father came back into the scene ( only a relationship with his son not me) now my problem is I feel like unless I call his dad or plan something he won't contact our son. He can go weeks without contact. His dad has asked me several times to be with him but honestly it will just never work. I feel like since I have told him straight its the the reason he doesn't call much. When or if he does call it's well after my son is in bed. ( he knows his sleep routine it never changes) when I say that he's in bed he says it's ok I just wanted to speak to you anyway. This hurts me a lot because I really want them to have a relationship with his son. I brought it up with him nicely but it blew up in my face. Yet Nothing changed. It's gotten to a point where when I say to my son do you want to call your dad he just says no my dad doesn't like talking to me. So when and if he does call I feel like I have to force our son to speak to him.
Now with all this going on I'm still trying to be as positive as I can taking him out etc but I feel like I can't win. I feel like everything I do I'm failing at being a mum and making my son happy. If I tell him off for doing something wrong he goes into a complete melt down saying don't you love me. Or why don't you love me. It breaks my heart. I try so hard to be the best mother. But I watch my friends with their husband and I think do they have this with their children? He often asks me why doesn't dad love me. He use to be the excellent kid that everybody would say wow he's so well behaved and now he's that kid that throws tantrums, swears (which is a huge no in my house) and doesn't listen. I'm hanging out for 730 when its bed time for him and it shouldn't be like that. I feel like I'm going crazy.
I don't even know what I'm asking advice on I guess I just needed to get it out, vent, cry some more. Are their any other IM's who have had anything like this how did u deal with it? ?
1 Replies
Time to stop answering the dad's calls. Tell him if he wants a relationship with his son he needs to formalise it by taking you through mediation or piss off. I bet you he doesn't try. It's time to get stability into your lives.
Then it's time to get yourself some counselling so you have someone to talk and vent to.
Time to spend some quality time with your son. Do a favourite activity together and talk. Tell him how much you love him and how special he is and that his dad is an idiot if he can't see that.