My 3.5 year old daughter doesn't eat anything really after attempts at trying different things and nothing working I finally had enough tonight. I cooked what used to be her favourite meal and put it in front of her. Asked her to try just one little bit and see if she liked it or not, If she tried it she could stay up and watch one of her favourite shows and if not then it was bedtime and we would take away all her treats until she started trying different foods. I don't even want her to eat her full meal just try it even a little lick of it would be progress. She flat out refused after several attempts of reasoning with her so off to bed she went and all her snack foods were put in the rubbish bin (they are just hiding downstairs for now and we've told her she can have them back if she tries her dinner) She was so upset but went up to her room. I went in 10 minutes later to ask her if she would like to try dinner it was still a no but she asked if all her yummy food she likes will come back and I said no not until she tries her dinner and it will continue every night until she does. She will still get fruit which she enjoys and breakfast cereal, toast, sandwiches but all her snack foods will be taken away. I am worried about her, we've had to put her on vitamins because she doesn't eat any meat or any vegetables. She will literally only eat bread and fruit and of course treats. Are we doing the right thing and will she eventually cave in? I feel awful that she has gone to bed hungry and upset but she knows what she needs to do and is extremely stubborn! Will we see improvement? any one try this or something similar and have it work? Please no slating us as parents, we are simply trying to do the right thing by her. Any positive advice would be greatly received. Thank-you
I feel awful please tell me we are doing the right thing :-(
I feel awful please tell me we are doing the right thing :-(
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Baby & Toddler, Baby Feeding, Kids
6 Replies
My son (4 in May) is exactly the same! Seriously, he won't eat a thing! I can't exactly say what our solution is, but suddenly he has started eating. He gags because he hates it but I've gotten over the guilt of making him eat foods that make him gag because in the end it will be good for him. Up until now, my partner & I were very strict (same as your routine). No snacks (made out they went in the bin), straight to bed, etc. We think, after a very long time of feeling like it was never going to work & that he would rather go hungry, it's finally paid off! He has started to eat. Slowly but surely. Keep it up! You're doing so good & something's gotta give eventually when your little one realises it's this or nothing. It took us a very long time! My son is still on the vitamins too. It isn't ideal but as long as the vitamins are giving her what she lacks, let it take it's time, because it will change. It did for us. Good luck!
we are in the same boat too, our daughter is 2 and she is getting picky. everything she is given is healthy but just stopped eating to the point that she has dropped down to the 9th percentile. the only way we get food into her some days is to revert back to the 6 month old baby food squeezy packs which you can get packed with meat and veges. there has been a few things I have tried that she thinks are "treat foods" but are actually healthy....
http://www.petite-kitchen.com/2013/02/rich-black-bean-fudge.html
- I made this "fudge" for her, so she thinks shes having sweets but really she is having beans haha. and I make popadoms sometimes and call them "chipies". :)
Its so frustrating having a kid that wont eat. if it makes you feel any better, I was the same as a kid, super picky, would love to eat snacks all the time but I have a super healthy diet as an adult and have worked as a chef. Although I still prefer small snack sized meals... that hasn't changed.
Its obviously taken a while for you to get to breaking point but it sounds as though you may have been allowing your little one to fill up on treats and naughty foods. You know kids give them an inch and they'll take a mile... assuming that you are certain your child has no sensory processing disorders then I say ban the snack foods entirely. Once a new routine of eating wholesome healthy foods has been well and truly established consider whether you need to reintroduce the treats or not.... they say a new habit takes 3+ weeks to create but I say do what you have to, your child won't starve them self.
Thank-you so nice to hear others stories on this. I say treats but her treats are really only yoghurt, cheese, crackers le-snacks, rice crackers and those scoobydoo fruit things (she thinks they are lollies) she very rarely gets chocolate and her bread she eats is wholemeal and believe it or not she only drinks water so I feel we are doing something right but just can't get her to eat meat or vegetables. Mention the word dinner and she freaks. I've tried putting things on her plate she does like as to coerce her to try the thing she thinks she doesn't like but this hasn't worked either. I've also tried having her help me cook dinners so she can see what is going into it and she really enjoys this but still won't try it. I feel I was a bit harsh on her tonight but perhaps we keep going like this and we may see some improvement.
My 3.5 year old son is the same, stubborn as old boots and if we push to hard he clams up. So we dont push at all. I know the foods he will eat and what he wont, our doctor has told us to try again after he turns 4 and slowly add more foods to his plate. He is on omega 3 and multivitamins and once a day he gets 'juice' which is water with a teaspoon of orange flavored fish oil.
I know its hard but pick your battles. Try getting her to help you make the food, try rolling meatballs or finger food together.
This must be really hard going. The other mums have given great advice and I think you are doing a really good job so frat - not sure I could have been so tolerant! The only other thing I could suggest is see if you can find some of Jo Frost's techniques for this problem - I think she kind of gets round it by not giving it much attention - the child can eat or not eat. If they do eat or try a different thing theres stickers/reward/something to acknowledge it so it's mostly a positive behaviour reinforcement.