I'm going to get straight to the point. I pride myself on being healthy and fit. I'm 168cm tall, weigh 59kg and work hard to keep it that way. I'm a D cup and always make sure my nails, hair and make up are flawless. I have strict exercise, diet and skin care routines etc.
Do not think I'm shallow, it's quite honestly massive self confidence issues.
My problem is, my husband, who is 8 years older than me, medically classified as obese, has poor hygiene and is in desperate need of a hair dresser and a razor, recently really hurt me emotionally.
I decided to get my first ever leg and brazilian wax. This clearly meant no shaving for 2 weeks. I became very self conscious especially considering my husband went from wanting sex daily to not at all.
Within a few hours of being waxed, he said, 'finally I can touch you again!' I laughed and said I'm allowed to have sex leading up to a wax and he quite blatantly said i was disgusting when I was hairy and I shouldn't expect any interest from him while ever i have body hair. That he simply refuses to touch me if i need to shave or wax.
Maybe im overreacting but it really cut me deep! This man that i love so dearly and admire suddenly seemed so harsh!
Before anyone gets nasty, I never judge him. I tell him daily that i love him, that he is perfect and gorgeous and honestly, despite his flaws i really do adore every single bit of him!
Am i overreacting or do i have a right to feel hurt?
12 Replies
Tell him he can go f@ck himself from now on. It sounds like you need to start turning the tables on this guy. Start executing him to clean up his act, because he is taking you for granted. I think I'd have trouble adoring his ridiculous double standard.
Agreed.
Yep
id be upset to and my answer to him would of been! "Don't you expect any sex from me while your fat, dirty and smelly" he sounds like a bit of a pig
That is really sad! You sound like you take great care of yourself and I would think your hubby would be more respectful, considering he could do things to improve on himself! It's hard to bite your tongue when you have allot of ammo. Just be proud of yourself and don't take what he said to heart! He sounds a bit jealous! Good on you for making healthy choices!!
He said what? I'd be saying something like it's no treat for me either fat man? How about you don't touch me with your hairy smelly revoulting self until you lighten up your load and take a little pride in your appearance. See how he reacts then.
The other week I hadn't shaved, my other half works out of town and I had no idea if he'd be in or not it's all based on the rain. I didn't shave my under arms and I didn't shave my nether regions. I told him so and said hope you don't mind but I haven't shaved. He's not a big fan of overly hairy places but he still went there and I'm the chunky one of our relationship. It is definitely not ok what he said and saying something to him is on the cards. There would be no way I would let my other half get away with that especially if he was my husband. I'd be keeping myself hair free and doing the job myself (pleasuring) so that even if he wanted to touch he wouldn't be allowed to. What good for the gander is even better for the goose.
I dont think it has anything to do with appearances its likely something else entirely and it isnt a nice conclusion......what did you have waxed?
How old do you look? And how old are you?
His sexual interest may be due to an interest in younger appearances. I was married to a pedophile when I was 20 I didn't know I was. He was 7 years older than me and required that I shaved daily.....hair was an absolute no no......10 years later he was convicted he shared the house with his 40 yo girlfriend and her daughter .....it wasnt his girlfriend he was interested in.
I had a full brazilian and my legs so this is quite scary... I am 28 but I get asked for ID a lot so I guess I look younger...
I would have found it hard not to drag him to the mirror and make him take a good, hard look at himself! But if you're OK with his appearance and don't want to have a fight, tell him honestly that you work hard to look good and it hurt when he wouldn't touch you just because of a bit of hair. Ask him is he really that concerned about appearance - what if you gained weight or lost a limb or suffered burns? OR, you could always make a point of letting it all grow, 'take care of your own business' and see if he changes his mind after a couple of weeks of no action? :'D
I'm hairy, under my arms, koala ears, legs, snail trail, chest and nipples
I hate the feeling of removing hair, and it's who I am, I refuse to change for anyone
Ive never had trouble finding men who don't have an issue with it, if I ever came across it (which I haven't) I'd assume they were more interested in a fantasy than in me, and that wouldn't turn me on, so problem solved
I'll never understand the hair issue
I would have said imagine if I had such high expectations of you nobody would be having sex
Wow! That sounds like a really nasty way of saying he doesn't like body hair! Does he realise he has hurt you? He may have some underlying sensory issues where he can't tolerate body hair. My son (4 yes old) won't touch me if I'm 'fuzzy' because the feeling makes his teeth itch. Maybe you need to start a conversation with him on how to constructively criticise, like say 'I love it when you don't have hair' as opposed to what he said. If he doesn't respond in a loving way when you tell him he hurt your feelings, then he is a twat!