Hey all. My question is how to go about talking to a best friend about how she talks to her child. I'm not a friend who has just appeared we have been friends since mid high school. Since her and her long term partner broke up she has been struggling with depression which she was taking medication for. She has stopped taking it about 6 months ago. And stopped buying food and partying became her main priority there has been minimum food in the house and since she lives next to her mother just bums it all from her form breakfast to dinners even tp, I know that's what mums are there for but even she has had a gutful. Today her temper was out of control doesn't matter what her child did it was wrong (I of all people know that this happens from time to time) but she screamed at her child tonight because his milo cup broke while he was stiring it. Smaked him cause his room wasbt tidy and because he wouldn't shear the bed with my child (which they usually do when it comes to sleep overs) after many out burst I turned around and asked her what was wrong and she said I live in a shit hole (its not really) and still fired at her son I eventually turned to her son and said "put ur drink in the fridge for tomorrow mum isn't in the best mood probs best if u go to bed" she then came stormming in abusing me about telling her son what to do then took her son to bed and he is now crying his eyes out and I just want to pull her out and let him sleep every time I hear her voice his cry get louder. This kid is only 7 so my question is 1 is there anyone she can see about this and 2 how can I as her closest friend talk to her about how she has been acting? Also is there a thing where a parent particularly enjoys hearing her child cry? cause this has been going on far too long.. She needs help its been going on 6months maybe longer
3 Replies
I would talk to her,ask her if she is feeling ok, and ask if she thinks she needs to go back to the doctor. Talk to her when she isn't angry (or at least calmer). Tell her you are worried about her and love her. That's all you can do. If you think there is child abuse/neglect and she refuses to get help from her doctor you need to notify authorities.
That's really sad I'm glad youre her friend and trying to help her for this child. I have no idea, bu. Maybe open a chat about the way you interact with your kids when youre tired ( as if it's your issue as well) aand know how unfair it is on the kid & want to stop, but being really supportive of the stress and situation, then you can Guage her care factor and also check in with her about how it's going in conversatioN and share resources etc ? If nothing comes of that I'd suggest sitting her down and telling her its too much and you'll support her getting help via gp, psychologist, parenting Course etc. Also you could talk to his teacher, let them know the home situation and they will have tools and resources and support too. Good luck
Classic depression; I'm going through it too and my 4 year old is copping it a lot because of my mood (and I hate myself even more for taking it out on her!!). Her poor kid would have no idea why she's being this way.
She needs help, which you know. Counseling and another GP visit. For me the barrier to either of these things is time and being able to have my daughter looked after while I do them. I'm not single but hubby doesn't have a lot of flexibility in his job to take time on weekdays so I can go to appointments and I feel bad putting her in daycare to do it since she already goes for 3 days (plus it costs money!). Approach her when she's calm and ask her if she's made a plan to deal with her depression; if she gives you excuses as to why she can't (time, money, childcare etc) then help her find a solution. Don't let her keep putting it off - it will get worse. Her son needs her to be stable otherwise it will start impacting him elsewhere (school etc).