I have one boy who is 6.5 and I would really like another baby, however my partner (3years- not the dad) has said he never wants kids at all. How do you deal with the disappointment? Do you just get over it or hope that he changes his mind? I feel if it doesn't happen soon I wouldn't want another as the age gap would be massive they wouldn't play etc I feel like it's selfish to want another when my partner doesn't
2 Replies
It's not selfish. To be honest it is something I get sorted at the start of a new relationship as I can't have more children and now am in a place where I absolutely wouldn't want more children now. Personally I don't date guys who are looking to have more kids. I won't go there, because getting too involved with someone who wants more than I can give them is just not fair to them.
I don't know if you had that discussion earlier and you just ignored what he said or he has had a change of heart. However you should NEVER hope he changes his mind because chances are he wont. When you are done you are done. Personally if I had really wanted more kids, I wouldn't have spent time with someone who didn't, same as I wont date someone who wants kids now, it isn't fair to them.
I'm not saying you can't get past the desire to have kids. You basically just remember all the bad things about babies, you know sleepless nights etc. Getting over my inability to have more kids was a process and I used to clucky but I would remind myself of how good my life is now and how things would be hectic and I'd go back to sleepless nights etc.
Personally though I think you have a big decision to make. Is this a deal breaker or not?
I forgot to mention when we started dating I didn't want another baby it changed about a year ago- my fault and much to his disappointment