I have two children from a previous relationship, 11 and 7 who are my whole life.
I've been dating my now boyfriend for almost 4yrs. He is 7yrs younger then me and obviously wants a child of his own. My question is, how much of a gap between children is to much?? I never thought I would want more children but my partner is an amazing step dad to my kids and I don't doubt he will be an amazing father also, but right now I don't think we are ready for a baby. My ex still hassles me constantly, I'm unable to find work, partner is employed but is away a lot and the house we are living in just isn't big enough for a new edition. So do we need to work out a time frame or just let it happen when we are better off?? I'm scared by the time it all happens the gap between my youngest and the new baby will be huge and I won't be able to cope. I'm 29
How much of a gap is to much??
How much of a gap is to much??
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Baby & Toddler, Kids
4 Replies
I have a friend who has an 18 year old (she fell pregnant as a teen) and a newborn. She's perfectly happy and content and that is perfect for her, there is no right or wrong. It's completely unique to your situation.
I will purposely have a big gap between my children and that's something that I've given a lot of thought to and I'm ok with.
There is no such thing as too big a gap! Your only 29 so have plenty of time to wait a few years for things to settle down. 33 or so is hardly old and your 11 and 7 year old will be that much more Independent so raising a baby will be easy. I've just used those ages for the sake of argument!
I know of people who have a 26 year age gap between their oldest child and youngest child. Sure theres a few kids in the mix they are now 32, 30, 22, 20 ,13, 7 and 6. I don't think any gap is too big. Just don't be one of those mums that expects your oldest child to want to babysit for you. (I'm not saying you are) but in my experience where I am 10 years older than my little sister it was expected of me a lot and I had to say home and babysit instead of going out and being a normal teenager a lot and I hated it.
There is in my family a 29yo girl, 25yo boy, 23yo girl (me), 21yo boy and then a 12yo girl. We love each other, we all get along well. We all look out for our younger sister, she is the light in our big family!
As a pervious poster said though, older kids are often expected to babysit and that was certainly the case in our family. My older sister was always expected to babysit all of us. I think as a 17/18yo it annoyed her but she certainly isn't bitter, it's just a part of life!