My 20 month old loves sleeping with us. She will only go to sleep if we hold her or lie down with her (in her cot or our bed). It's a quick 5 minute job but if we try to put her in cot she wakes and screams (waking our toddler) If she falls asleep in cot with me and I sneak out she will wake around 2 am and cry hard till we put her into our bed. She also has a 2 hour nap with her grandma in bed everyday and she literally gets into bed, cuddles my mum and goes to sleep instantly.
My first child never wanted to sleep with us, very independent, slept from 6 weeks and would sleep in till 9 am.
Always prefers her own bed and not a fan of cuddles. We had a brief month of waking and after a few nights of controlled crying she was easy ever since. She has always fought going to sleep though but once she is gone she is gone ?.
I think is why we are so soft with our 2nd as she is so loving and cuddly , easy to go to sleep and it's nice to be so loved. She just wakes up if we aren't with her!
From other people's experience, did you co-sleep and was it easy enough to get your child to move into their own bed later on. Or should I persevere with some tough love/controlled crying now before it just gets harder.
This is our last child and We partly feel just accept it and enjoy it because soon she will grow up and not want us. On the other hand are we setting ourselves up for more pain later ?. ??
Thanks in advance (and if you don't co sleep then no need to comment please)
5 Replies
I say if you're happy with it, enjoy it! My twins co slept with us from 18 months until they were 5, the only reason they stopped was because I was pregnant and there wasn't any room in the bed! Now my youngest is 18 months and hates sleeping in my bed with me, she sounds exactly like your eldest- very particular with her cuddles! Now my twins come and jump in my bed when they have a nightmare or on the weekends we will pile in together and watch a movie then cuddle up and sleep. I love those times. When I transitioned them back to their beds I started off putting a mattress on my floor for them then I started giving them one of my pillows each to cuddle at night in their own bed.
Honestly, they're only going to be so cuddly for so long so you may as well enjoy it!
Have you tried putting the cot next to your bed with the side down? That way you can be touching her. It's a small step away.
Personally I didn't co-sleep for more than a few nights at a time because my quality if sleep was so poor doing it.
If it doesn't really bother you or your partner then I wouldn't worry about it. Eventually your daughter will grow up and decide that her bed is better. I've got 5 children - 2 who never slept with me, 3 who did and 2 who occasionally still do when they are anxious about something. I've always figured that they wouldn't be doing it by the time they turned 16 so I'm ok with it lol
My hubby was FIFO - I had 4 kids - oldest 5, next one 3 then my daughter was in born 1999 and my son born 2001- I slept with the last two until 2004 (5yrs in total). It was absolutely the only way I was going to cope as a FIFO wife. I have no regrets and when they were ready they moved out of my bed into their own beds. Hubby was fine with it too, extra cuddles for all of us. The youngest is now 14 and I miss those days, enjoy it while they want to be with you, nothing is forever. xxx
I've co-slept with my 2, not as a lifestyle/parenting choice but like you, it was the only way they slept. It didn't bother us as much as it bothered other people - bizarre how many people have an opinion about how your kids should/shouldn't sleep! I found that mine have been very individual as they've grown older, the first one transitioned to her own room quite well over a couple of weeks just after her 2nd birthday. I was in the early stages of pregnancy with my second and my first was still breastfeeding and waking a lot overnight. But since she started sleeping in her own bed she's been the most fantastic sleeper. My second one is now 3.5 and still can't get through the night in her own bed! We tried all the same things but she hasn't responded the way our first did. It does bother us a bit - we can't all fit in the same bed, and whoever sleeps with her is often woken by her tossing and turning. But we have that same theory as you - she's only going to be this little for such a short time, and soon all those snuggly moments with her will be just a memory. She's very good at going to bed in her own bed, and once she's not scared when she wakes in the night we figure she'll realise we're there in the next room and she's safe, and will go back to sleep. That's what I'm hoping anyway! It's all trial and error I'm afraid! xo