this year everything that could go wrong has.
I have had to move away from my home town due to domestic violence. I have 3 children under 6 the youngest only being 3 months. We fled. We were homeless for 4 weeks sleeping in a tent.
It was tough. I applied for many rental properties and finally got one. A small house that costs me almost half of the money I get each fortnight. It's a roof over our head and somewhere my children are safe however financially it's a struggle. My daughters birthday and Christmas are coming around very quickly. I have no money.. I have no savings.. I don't know what to do. The guilt I feel for my children is not even describable.
Previously we lived comfortably. My children never missed out. Now we are scraping to get buy. My eldest has formed an anxiety issue since all of this has happened. She is 6 so whilst I can shelter the other two from the truth of what has happened.. She has a small idea and she struggles with this new place and the new school and knowing no one. I never saw myself in this situation. I have read about it a lot on here and other mum groups.. Never did I think this would become my life. The whirlwind of emotions, the loneliness.. The struggle. Anyway.. I can barely scrape together the money to feed my children, I am struggling to pay rent.. I am considering doing private escorting. I know the dangers and I know that it's morally wrong. But I feel as though there are no other options. I need to support my children. My question is.. Has anyone had to do something like this to get by? I know that in a perfect world it's not something anyone would consider.. But at the moment my world isn't perfect. I have run out of ideas. Please don't be nasty. This is a genuine question and I am a genuine person. I am very fragile at the moment.
How far is to far to support your family
How far is to far to support your family
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt
5 Replies
No, don't do it yet, you don't sound like someone who would choose that job under normal circumstances so I suspect it will cause you huge emotional distress and send you to a dark place. I'm not against sex work, but it takes a certain person to do it and maintain there mental health. If you are going to do sex work, consider phone sex, as that you can do from your home and there is no contact.
Before you consider this as a job, please contact your local charities, salvos, Anglicare, local churches etc. contact Centrelink and ask to speak to a social worker they can probably link you up with other services. Have you used your Centrelink advance yet?
A friend of mine does all her Christmas shopping in charity stores, and they are well off, they spend so little. The toys are great and I always think I should do that next year and then forget! Best of all it's giving back to charities.
Do you have your own social worker? Your GP can refer you to one. They can really help navigate the systems, supports you might not be aware of.
Lastly I want to say how brave you are. I know things seem shit right now, but seriously they are only going to get better from here on in. You made the right longterm choice for your family.
I'm not sure that escorting is right for you . . .I think that you've hit rock bottom and need help. Where is your family support through all of this? See if your school has a Chaplin, I'm not a religious person however I have talked to the one at my sons school many times, and I have also talked to the guidance officer, they tend to know a lot of what's going on in the community and may even have some connections to getting help. Our Chaplin has offered everyone in my sons school access to $30 food hamper weekly, not many people have taken it up, it comes from the church she attends, and so totally worth it if you eat a lot for fruit and veg as we do, you do get other packaged goods too. She also runs a breakfast club that any child attending the school can go to, my son doesn't but if he wanted to he could. The Guidance officer put me in touch with a government funded agency called family connect, they are so helpful in so many ways, they have sent me to 2 classes in the past year, one was to help build my self esteem 10 weeks worth of classes for that, and I also have a mentor through that agency that has contacts and I can talk to her about anything. Maybe even call (if you haven't already) the DV helpline, I know that your already out, but they may have advice on where you can go or what help there is where you are. There is a lot of help out there, just many of us don't know where to even begin. The hardest step is reaching out for help, it gets easier from there. Good Luck.
Hi IM,
This year for Christmas, my partner and I are making up a bit of a gift basket for a family who could use a little extra love this season. Nothing fancy, maybe a few clothes or some toys.
Would you feel comfortable in contacting me so I can get your address and send you a few things?
I'm also curious to know if your youngest is a boy? My son has outgrown his clothes and I have bags full of baby items in new near condition that I was going to donate to charity but I'd much rather send to a family in need.
Best wishes xo
And remember to keep your head high! You'll get through this - it's obvious you're a great mother.
This isn't the life you want and it will lead you further away from the life you want.
You've done amazing to get to where you are, keep going forward, building. Now you have a peaceful home, and your kids can mend.
Perhaps take the tent and go camping for Christmas to get around the expense of it all. A week away somewhere new, put baubles on the tent, create some beautiful new happy family memories.
Keep looking for a cheaper rental. Being able to afford your living is the biggest step, after that everything else will be Ok. So keep looking until you find it. Can you move to a cheaper town or suburb? Could you manage working nightfill it's Christmas there will be jobs going.
It takes time to completely rebuild your life and get it in order, every choice you make is a block in the new life you're creating, so make sure you take care and rebuild a life you want this time.
I have been there not the escort but the 3 kids under 5 in a tent scrapping homelessness...the tent was 6 months waiting for orders for us to be able to leave the state. We were homeless twice in 3 years. I now own my own home.....my kids 2 of 3 are in high school.
You will get through this anglicare can help with a Christmas hamper and support services. You don't need to escort but you will learn how to be resourceful.
*hug* you are not alone and you ARE a good mum.