Hi IMS,
Not sure I can be helped but some reassurance maybe.
Now please keep in mind I love my family with all my heart and I own my responsibilities.
I was a silly teenager, I dropped out of high school got pregnant to the first boy I got in bed with and gave birth before I even turned 20.
Fast forward. We are still a complete family. My baby girl is two. I studied my butt off to finish a diploma, I have a full time job, a lovely home, steady income and my support network is amazing.
But I can't ever stop thinking about everything I gave up. Instead of catching up financially, I could be getting ahead. Instead of settling down as a teenager, how do I know that there isn't someone out there better suited for me? My partner and I love each other but he can't provide us with a future.
I haven't had the chance to be an adult, I became a parent while I pretty much was still a child.
How do I know I couldn't have given my baby more if I had have just waited.
How do I deal with forever questioning everything I've ever done? How do other young mums stop looking back?
2 Replies
I had my son at 20. I had nothing. My parents had me at 18. You need to decide if you are going to keep torturing yourself with what if's or you are going to concentrate on making the best out of what you have. You make a decision because its quite possible you would have spent all your money on junk at that age anyway and not be any further ahead. Lots of people do it.
You make your future and personally I'd prefer to have a partner I loved and treated me well than be wealthy. Some people like me go forever without meeting someone they could more than 6 months with (I am one of those people). I don't know what sort of future you think he needs to provide but owning a home and having nice cars isn't all that its cracked up to be. They are just things.
You will get your chance to have fun, my parents 'the kids' I call them just got back from europe, celebrated there 42nd wedding anniversary and spent there anniversary partying hard. There 60th birthday party was amazing. I remember when they were in there 30's laughing at people who were dealing with babies at there own age because that was all behind them.
You'll get your chance to live, you have so much time on your hands and life isn't a race it's a marathon so don't panic, plenty of time.
I've been with my hubby since I was 13, we had our first child by the time I was 16. I am 29 now & have 3 beautiful amazing children & am still with the love of my life. We are not well off but we have everything we need, we don't have flash cars & can't afford to throw money away but there's no way I'd rather have all that than have what we have now. Chin up hunni, we all go through rough patches but you'll soon realise what's more important ?