Just wondering how long it took other mums to gain their sex drive back after having a baby? I have 2 older kids and a 11month old baby and since having him I have no sex drive what so ever. Its to the point where it's starting to cause problems between my husband and I. Before bub we had a very healthy sex life, and now it's nonexistent. And its not just that im always tired, im am actually turned off by the thought of sex.. How did other mummas get it back??
9 Replies
Is bub an easy baby? I just find if I've had a kid attached to me all day the last thing I want to do is be touched by someone else. If I get a break and time to myself then sex is back on my agenda
Yes bub is an easy goin little guy but he is very attached to me. I dont get a chance to have a break from him....
Is day care an option to give you a break? Personally I see working on our relationships with our partner is a gift to our children
It will happen eventually. Having 3 kids does change your body, you need to give yourself time to get back to it again. I am only just getting mine back 3 years later after last baby. Hubby and I had a fantastic drive before kids. Now it's more me than him lol
I could have written this myself. I just don't want it or even think about it. I'm not tired or run down just no interest. I will follow this post maybe I can get some helpful hints
Are you on the pill? The pill can be a huge factor in diminished see drives. I was on one after my 3rd and after 3 weeks I had lost my see drive and the thought of my husband was repulsive. Needless to say I chucked that in the bin and within a week was back to my normal sexual self. ? haha. Otherwise maybe try making a conscious effort to do it twice a week. The more you have it the more you want it ☺
I pretty much asked the same thing a few months ago. I felt exactly the same as how you're feeling now. It doesn't hurt to check in with your doc to get your hormones checked, I didn't but a lot of people on my post advised me too. However, my little one is 13 1/2 months old and about 3 weeks ago...I got my mojo back! I honestly thought I would be repulsed by sex forever and here I am, actually initiating it and loving it. From what I read and answers I received on my post, it can take a good 12-18 months for things to settle and get back to normal. I totally understand how your husband is probably feeling, mine went through all that too and I know that even though I told him a million times that it wasn't him and I still loved him and was attracted to him, he still felt rejected and hurt. I ended up showing him all the comments I received on here and I think that helped him understand better. Like I said, no harm checking in with your doc to make sure there's no imbalance...but otherwise I'm going to say 'hang in there'. I think it's actually quite normal to feel this way. I got my mojo back after thinking it was gone forever, you will too xx
Ps - it sounds awful, but I threw out the occasional pity sex and did my best to keep hubby satisfied in other ways...I got a lot of advice saying that to just do it and the more I do, the more I'd want it...wasn't something that worked as the whole idea of sex was a turn off in itself. Keep communicating as best you can with hubby, this will pass. I know I felt equal parts relief to hear so many other woman tell me they had or were the same and also a little disheartening there was no quick fix...I hope this has helped a little bit. Hang in there, chin up xx
Thank you for all your comments. I currently have the Implanon in my arm and maybe its partly responsible. Things are slowly getting better, 1 step at a time. My baby is a happy and content little guy but he's just not a sleeper, so "exhausted mumma" is a big part of it too... Currently bub is not in day care/kindy so I havent had and dont get a break from him (and my 2 older kids). Not that Im complaing because he is last bub so am enjoying and making the most of our time before I have to go off to work. Hubby is trying to be understanding but he's a typical bloke and doesnt really understand the emotional toll things take on mumma's. And it's kinda nice to know that Im not alone in my battle :)
Thank you mummas