Looking for some advice. Sorry it's long. My 13y/o daughter has ADHD and is showing signs of anxiety/depression. We moved towns and subsequently schools about 18months ago and since coming to her new school she has endured teasing, isolation, intimidation, verbal abuse and now physical abuse by other students (3 in particular, all boys in her class) In August she was choked, pushed and almost thrown across a room by a male student. The substitute teacher was oblivious to this until about 20minutes later when she found my daughter crying beneath her desk. I found out about the incident when I arrived to pick my daughter up from school that afternoon. When I spoke with the teacher that afternoon she turned on me and said all the kids were 'feral' and 'running amok'. Spoke at the time with the principal and was told it would be dealt with. Since then the same student has continued to intimidate and scare my daughter verbally and physically by pushing, tripping her etc. A few weeks ago he punched her in the head as she walked into the classroom and again I spoke with the principal who said she would deal with it. Last Monday another boy was throwing things at her in class and left a welt the size of a 50c piece on her back. Last Friday the same boy that had choked and punched my daughter previously, punched her again. I only ever find out about the incidents from my daughter when I pick her up and she gets in the car and bursts into tears. The school has not once called me. Enough is enough, I have now spoken with the local police since the school don't appear to be doing anything. I've been told by the officer that attended the male students house that the parents had no idea of the incidents. In a meeting once again with the principal today I found out there has been no formal punishment for any of these incidents and she has just 'spoken with him'. What do I do next? My daughter is showing strong signs of anxiety with panic attacks, tears, shaking and genuine fear at the thought of going to school. This is breaking her. She is small (the size of a 8yr old at 13), and although she has ADHD she is not a trouble maker and would mind her own business if these kids would just leave her alone. Our small town has only one public school and one private school that we simply cannot afford to send her to. I'm at my wits end :( How do I help her?
6 Replies
Seriously I'd get her the hell out of there and do distance education! I was the victim of bullying nowhere near the level of your daughter and it left lifelong scars. Her physical safety is in danger. Also speak to the police.
I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this. Bring up Department of education and lawyers for compensation. I've heard that help in many bullying cases where schools have just sat on their hands and they have put an end to it. Also maybe look into distance ed.
I agree with the previous suggestions but also, perhaps approach the private school and explain your current financial situation and the bullying and lack of action being taken as quite often they have scholarships or may waive fees for compassionate reasons. They may say no but it's worth checking out!
Pull her out. You cannot allow this to continue to happen to her. Homeschool or get advice from the education department as to where to take this. It is unacceptable that the school has done nothing, but it will keep happening unless she is removed from the situation, seeing as these kids are not being made accountable for their actions.
Ask your daughter what she thinks about distance education or home-schooling.
Get her out of there now.
Follow all the other advice (gather evidence, contact principal's boss and department of education, as well as police).
I'm not sure what evidence you can gather- it's all heresay (her word against others), maybe witness accounts. Keep a diary of all conversations with teachers and the principal.
I was tortured by the boys a year above me for 3 whole years. Every day. Thrown down stairs, spat on, kicked and punched, I couldnt get anyone to listen. 3 times they broke my ribs. Its been almost 10yrs and I still have anxiety, ptsd and depression that started with the abuse. I was also being abused sexually at home. Please do whatever will help your daughter. Be her rock. I ended up breaking a boys jaw and enrolling myself in a new school, and that wasnt fun.