My son for all intensive purposes is a happy, engaged and settled young man. A keen lover of sport, he is always training, playing or watching his favourite disciplines and plays at the elite label in two areas. A leader at school and within his peer group, he is a content and confident boy.
This confidence however, is completely diminished at night time as he struggles to reach a restful sleep. He will go off to bed quite happily as long as he knows my husband and I will stay up for a whole and that he can still hear the muffled noise of the TV.
Once we are in bed and the house is quiet is when he regularly wakes extremely upset, wanting to sleep in our floor, declaring ha the needs to be bear us. He says that he can't help thinking that someone is going to break into our house and kidnap him!? His recent episode was quite scary and I'm fairly sure could be considered a full blown panic attack.
I am extremely worried about my boy, seeing him so fearful and not being able him is heartbreaking! We are booked in to see a child psychologist and we regularly attempt to reassure our boy that he is safe. I guess I'm wondering if anyone out there has experienced the same thing and do you have any tips for me?
Many thanks in advance.
7 Replies
Best thing is to wait until you take him to see the psychologist. They will be able to teach him how to cope and talk openly about his fears. I used to be like this as a child, my mum would always tell me each night that there is nothing to be afraid of in the dark, I am safe in my room and my house, the windows are locked etc. after telling me everything would be okay she would then distract me with a funny story or book or show to get my mind of it right before I fell asleep. I assume you've already tried a night light? What about leaving hall light on or TV on in the other room so the house isn't so quiet? What about a TV in his room?? Not the best option but might help in the mean time. I also ended up getting a TV in my room when I was very young and had cartoons playing all night so if I woke up I wasn't scared and would just watch some TV before falling back asleep.
Definitely wait and see the psychologist I would also consider seeing a sleep physician too. There are some bizarre sleep disorders. There are also specialist sleep psychiatrists that you might find useful.
Try sleep hypnosis. Look up jody whitely on youtube and play it to him at bedtime via headphones or speakers.
*intents and purposes
there are white noise apps for babies and kids, maybe try that on an iPad. if you can afford it, buy shutters for the house (doors and windows) to give your boy security that none can break in. does he have a sibling, maybe sharing a room may help. or finally he may just need to sleep on a mattress at the end of your bed for a while. try night lamp, and door open. how far is your room from his? i think the best solution is that have a mattress and doona set up at the end of your bed, he can go to sleep in his room but if he gets scared at night he can go lie down on the mattress in your room without waking anyone up and leave all doors open to bedrooms.
I was like this as a child. I grew up in South Africa, and was always scared someone would break in and attack me or my family. I slept on my parents floor until I was 14, and we had moved to Aus. My parents took me to 3 different psychologists, and none of them helped, eventually one of them said to my parents "there is nothing wrong with her, she is just genuinely scared at night". I don't feel that anything a psychologist says will help you, if you have that genuine fear. I'm now 27 and still scared at night, but deal with it, some nights I am fine, others I get up a few times during the night to check doors and look through windows. I have 2 little dogs, and they are great comfort at night time. The only time I feel safe is when my partner is home.
I used to be scared as a child. At bedtime my mum would watch Australia's most wanted that i could hear from my bedroom. It would freak me out and i'd have thoughts of burglars/murderers climbing in through our windows at night. I used to jump down off my top bunk and wake my sister up so my mum would have to come into the room and pat her back to sleep. I would do this until i had drifted off. Obviously the show ended at some point and i just grew out of it. No problems being alone anymore and i actually preferred the house to myself as a teenager/adult. Is it something he is hearing/seeing/learning about that could be scaring him?