I don't really know if this is a question or what I want or need but here goes... I have a partner who has severe depression and 3 kids under 10, I care for 2 other family members also, my partner is going through a really bad stage and has been for a few years, he has been self harming and its so exhausting. I will stand by him no matter what but lately I just feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and I've come to realise I'm a partner, a mother and a carer and I don't know who I am anymore, I don't have many friends and the ones I do I don't feel they understand they tell me well he has to get over it and say things like life is so simple, I just don't know what I'm doing anymore...
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Contact your local carers association they will have a list of support groups, practical supports in your area. Also make sure those that your caring for are using the services available to them. Meals on wheels, local councils offer in home care, cleaning and yard work. You need to make sure they are using these services and you and hubby are using those services because otherwise you will burn out. Carve out time to see a counsellor for yourself. Being a carer is exhausting and you need an outlet! The counsellor also will suggest ways to carve out you time.