My husband and I are very lucky and have a beautiful 4 year old boy. About 12 months ago we made the decision to expand on our family....for 12 months now we've been trying with no success. I'm starting to get really depressed every month when I get a negative result. Recently 3 of my closest friends have become pregnant with their 2 or 3rd babies after hardly trying. I'm trying so hard not to feel jealous but I can't help it. I'm so happy for them deep down but I can't help but but feel depressed that it hasn't happened for us yet. And it seems everywhere i look theres a pregnant woman!
One of the girls recently pregnant is my best friend and as you do with besties shes constantly complaining about everything related to pregnancy and it sometimes feels like she's rubbing it in my face. I just don't know how to get past these feelings of jealousy and how to deal with my besties complaining without snapping at her.
Please note I am happy for my friends and delight in seeing ultrasound pictures and the like. Just at home I get upset.
No negative remarks please I'm fairly fragile over all this already.
5 Replies
When you really want something it's hard not to be hyper focused on it. Try and concentrate on what you do have, how lucky you are to have one child, and really concentrate on what you are doing in your activities rather than letting your mind wander back to babies and pregnancy. I know that's all easier said than done but it works for me with some effort.
I feel your pain. My husband and I decided to expand our family and after falling pregnant pretty quickly with our 1st we expected this would be the same with our 2nd too. Unfortunately it didn't happen that way and with my husband working FIFO it has only made things harder. During the last couple of years my friends and family have welcomed new additions some planned, some not and there is a small part of me that has felt jealous of them too.
I think it is normal to feel this way, like you said you are still happy for your friends and are not thinking badly of them.
Hugs to you, I understand your pain the same thing happened to me when we were trying for our second one to the point I refused to see people it took us 2 years to fall pregnant and that was with staying calm and positive and busy so that it wasn't my first and last thought for the day. Give yourself plenty of time, another thought is start taking pregnancy multi vitamins as for some strange reason it can help (was on dr advise for this and it did work with both)
I was the pregnant friend 6 years ago and again 4 years ago, I did not want to hurt my gf at all but also wanted to have the family I had always dreamed of... My gf stopped speaking to me on both occasions for several weeks, I tried the first time and we got passed the issue, I lost my little girl to SIDS when she was 6 weeks old. The 2nd time I just couldn't, I was 3 months pregnant with my 3rd child before I told anyone including my gf we have not spoken since! I lost my best friend after telling her I was pregnant. I have nothing to offer in the way if advice but be mindful your friend is not out to hurt you, maybe she just wants to make the family that she has dreamt of.
Gosh I'm so sorry for your loss ((hugs))
I think your friend should have been supportive of you especially losing a child she should have been there and done what a true friend does.
I think your better off without her.
All the best for your future and family. Make lots of babies :) xx