Hi ladies, I need help!
I've just turned 29yo have 3 beautiful kiddies aged 7, 10 & 12 the two older ones are boys and a little girl & an amazing hubby! I've been with hubby since I was 15yo we've been married for 9y. Hubby has a very demanding job which takes us all around Australia, he is away with work a lot sometimes for up to 9-10 months of a year other years weeks & months at a time & we move state to state every 3 years or so. We've moved quite recently back to where we are originally from in January, back around family & friends for the first time in 9 years. I had this expectation that everything would go back to the way it was before we left! But it hasn't & I have no idea why I thought it would now that I think about it! We've spent so much time away doing everything ourselves with no help whatsoever, no help with the kids, I've had no friends at all (I find it very hard to make friends) I thought that all would magically change! How wrong I was... I can't cope! I can't cope with the kids, the are constantly fighting arguing talking back hurting each other! From the moment they get up in the morning till the moment they go to bed they are at each other's throats and me! They are ripping me apart! It's got to the point where cant wait for the day to end so they can go to bed & then get up & go to school! I dread the weekends as I know I'll have to deal with their shit! I was working 5-6 days a week before we moved & they transferred me down here but all I'm getting here is one shift a week & that's on a Saturday! I really just want to run away & not have to deal with it all. It kills me when I see their faces when I'm yelling at them! That's all I ever seem to do nowadays! My hubby tries to help but he's just as bad! He says I can't just get him to play the 'bad guy' all the time when I can't deal with it. I've been on antidepressants for years and they were helping up until we moved here. I just don't know what's wrong with me, I feel like the worst mum in the world and the kids would be better off without me at all. I hate the way I've become, I hate the mum I am I can't cope being a mum! I just can't cope with all this shit! i have no help, I don't feel like I can talk to anyone else they'll just judge me and then everyone will know what a horrible mother wife/person I am for it. I just can't cope!
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3 Replies
You need to go back to the doctors. It sounds like your medication might need adjusting and that you need someone to talk to like a psychologist. Once you get your mental health back on track you will be able to take your power back with the kids and things will seem so much better. In the meantime use services like lifeline, beyond blue
You just wrote on my post.. I am going through something very similar. I don't have all the answers I wish I did. You are not alone though, and those beautiful children of yours would never be better off without you, they need their mum. I suggest going back to the GP and a psychologist. My psyc has suggested exercise daily even if it is 10 mins and doing something for yourself. Even if it is having a coffee in peace, reading, taking a bath. Anything for yourself and doing it everyday ... Thinking of you... I hope you find some sunshine soon
I agree with the post above, all so you are in desperate need of a break! I feel exhausted reading what you have been going through so I can only imagine on how you are actually feeling.
Do you have the money to maybe have the kids do after school care 1-2 days per week, Just to give you an extra few hours to yourself after they finished school. (I think the average cost is $15 per child per day, but you should get help with CCB or rebate) Maybe join a gym, book club something social where you can meet new people. I'm a stay at home mum to younger children and it is so challenging and the thing I crave and miss the most is adult contact. My husband works 6 12hour days so it's usually just me and the kids so there can be days of talking about cartoons and toys and when I do speak with my few friends it is usually about the kids. Which is fine obviously the kids will come up in as convo every day but I so do miss having a coffee and a gossip that had nothing to do with 'if your happy and you know it clap your hands'.
Your doing a amazing job and never forget that, just remember you need to come first without you your household would not run.
Good luck