Ok well, I've posted on here anonymously a few times. Regarding a few things. How shitty my relationship was. How shitty he was a being a dad. Just how much of a horrible person my ex was. I moved 6 hours away with our two year old to start fresh.
I thought I was going good. And it was getting better. Even though my ex didn't want much to do with his son.
Well I went back to my previous town for my friends birthday. And it was only surround by my friends (more aquaintaces) that I realised how depressed and miserable I was.
Somedays I think god wouldn't life be easier if I were dead? I'm so miserable where I am. I miss my home. My fresh start has been a flop. I'm breaking the heart of this great guy I've met here but I want to go home. I need to. I can't believe I'm even considering it. I was watching my son play with his dad and he looked so happy. And I brought the idea up with my ex that I might move back. Purely for myself and for my son to be near his dad closer the distance is so hard. But he thinks I plan on stalking him and ruining his life and be in his face. He said that if I move back he'll leave.
I'm so lost I don't know what is right or wrong anymore. I don't know what to do.
Every day I feel like I'm one step closer to the edge.
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
1 Replies
Go to counselling! Don't move yet. Go to your GP and get a referral. It sounds like emotionally you haven't really dealt with the issues. Your ex is never going to be an active father so don't move back for that reason. You can't make someone be a dad. Your counsellor can help you deal with the mummy guilt of your son not having his father.
Don't make any decisions until you've really thought about your motivation and know deep, deep down that the only reason your moving is to be closer to your friends and your family (not to have your ex play a father role)