The heartache you feel when your son with Asperger's and ADHD say's
"I have given up on having friends Mum, I don't want them anymore... People are mean and they don't understand me...
But don't worry, It's ok.. I still have my Ipad & Xbox to keep me company"
Then you read a message sent to your daughter who has High Functioning Autism from one of her 'FRIENDS' trying to con her into giving her money.. Money she got for Christmas & her Birthday that she has saved, but will give to someone to be her 'FRIEND'..
Sitting here trying to figure out what I can do or how I can help them...
The Heartache of Kids
The Heartache of Kids
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Kids, Aspergers & Autism
8 Replies
Have you read Tony Attwoods books??
I'm sorry, that's really difficult :-(
A lot of community centres have structured kids social groups where bullying and bad behaviours are less likely to be tolerated because they are supported. Might be worth seeing what's in your local area?
I'm sorry you are dealing with this :(
I come from a different perspective and I know this isn't advice but maybe it can give you some hope. My husband has Asperger's. We met in high school and at the time he only had one friend. He was shy, quirky, misunderstood and even though the wanted friends was scared of the process so would push them away. He told his family he was going to be a hermit when the grew up, live in a hut and grow his own food so he never had to see anyone ever. At school tried talking to him many times but he was so anxious he would say nothing at all or something completely unrelated to what I just said. One day I decided I didn't want to see him be sad any more, or sitting alone when his one friend wasn't around. It started with a smile every day and them me making a joke related to music (something he has a great love for). Then quick conversations about music. 2 minute conversation the next day, 5 the day after, 10 the day after that. I got his phone number from his sister, which he was mad at her for but later thankful, and would text him little messages that would make him feel awkward if I said them in person, like "Don't forget to smile today", "I like your new haircut" or "You did great in band practice today." Soon I started brining lunch for us to share as I had noticed her never ate at school. We became best friends, and although my other "friends" though it was weird I wanted to hang out with the "weird kid" I didn't regret is one bit. He was/is a 100x better friend that they ever were.
I was only looking to make a boy smile, not for a boyfriend (that would eventually be my husband!) but once I got past the differences and awkwardness I found the sweetest most caring boy and fell in love with him without even realising it. I never forget that we were best friend before we dated and are now married. That awkward, quirky boy is still hiding in there and peeks out sometimes but now he is a confident man, loving husband and wonderful father.
Somewhere out there is a wonderful person just waiting to meet your son and another for your daughter who is just waiting to be their friend, so bring a smile to their faces and walk this journey with them. Someone who is wise beyond their years and has a heart full of compassion and love. They will find that friend. x
How heartbreaking for you and your kids.
Friends don't always have to be at school. Perhaps there is an outside of school activity they could take up to try and find friends? I would recommend scouts/cubs depending on their age. (They don't have to go on camps if that's too much for them) they learn some great life skills and a good leader will encourage the other kids to be accepting.
Oh the darlings. They only need to find one child who will see the beauty in their special qualities.
That brought tears to my eyes. My 4 y.o daughter is also ADHD and an aspergirl. Its so damn hard isnt it. She is picked on because children dont 'get' her. They dont understand. She is too much for most children because she doesnt understand person space. Theres nothing id love more than to see her playing a friend. Hugs to you
I have no advice for you. But you are not alone, I wish there was an easy solution. My daughter is now 16 and suffers from ADHA, anxiety and depression. Unfortunately she has been dealing with this since Kindy now in year 11 and still spends every weekend alone. So heartbreaking. I can't wait for her to find a soul mate that loves and understands her for the beautiful person she is.
Are there any other children at the school with asperger's and ADHD in the same situation as your son? Maybe you could talk to the school, and if there is, connect the two and see if they can't become friends?
Are there any other children at the school with asperger's and ADHD in the same situation as your son? Maybe you could talk to the school, and if there is, connect the two and see if they can't become friends?