Hi, I am a 22 year old mum to a 4yo boy. My husband works away and come night time I am terrified. I have all my doors locked and house closed up by 5pm. I sleep with a knife under my bed and can't sleep for hours because I'm listening out for noises.. I live in an okay area. When my husband is home I'm not the slightest bit scared. Surely this isn't normal for someone my age. Should I seek professional help? Any advice? Tia
7 Replies
Hi there im also a 22 yr old with 4 yr old daughter. Im a single mum though so I feel this way more.often because im home alone so much. I hate it and I am beyond scared. I dont sleep with a knifebecause I was told It can be used against you. I lock my doors and usually try and pretend people are still awake by leaving tv and light on. I leave mens things around so people think a man lives with me because im afraid of been a target. I think its normal as a mother to have fear and be protective but to what extent is unhealthy I dont know? I used to watch the crime shows which hasn't helped my.paranoia haha. I dont really have any advice sorry maybe talk to someone about other security measures you could take that could help you feel more safe and relaxed.
I would seek professional help. At your age you shouldn't be terrified to be on your own at night. We all have our moments (watching a scary movie) but it sounds like your anxiety goes well and truly beyond that. It can't be pleasant being so scared. Seek help and reap the rewards.
Hi, your not alone, I'm 29 with 2 children and am terrified when hubby goes away I am exactly like you lying there for ages waiting and listening for noises! The only relief I have found is having good guard dogs, I have one at the front and one at the back, people don't like breaking into houses with dogs that bark and draw attention all the best
Iam married with 3 kids and hubby works nites mostly he starts at 1.30 am. Some nites are plane scary, and yes our imagination can get away from me from time to time. I have cops number in my phone. I also would highly recommend a big dog. Our dog is 70kilos she is a gentle giant doesn't need walks or anything but when I answer the door to an unknown person they defiantly take a few steps back when they see the size of her. Even if theirs no one at the door she still alerts me to anyone in a two door radius.
I'm feeling so sad for you all! I have been a single parent for 19 years (of child who has severe disabilities). I've been frightened all of 5 nights! You don't have to live in fear. The media would have you believe that we are all about to be murdered in our beds but the reality is far from that. How is being frightened helping you? Sure take security precautions, lock doors etc but life's too short to be that frightened. Also you don't want your kids to pick up on this and start being frightened because there is not a man in the house.
I was exactly the same a while ago when my husband began working away. For hours I would lay awake and I heard every single wee noise. The neighbours were being burgled in a wave motion and mine looked to be next! So I slept with a bat and a weight pole behind my door until my husband said "And what exactly do you expect to achieve with those? They're so big and heavy that by the time you've swung them, they will have caught them, snatched them and would be belting you with them. They're pointless" so instead I got online and ordered CAPSICUM SPRAY. Not Maise! Capsicum lasts A LOT longer and would be painful enough to cripple them, while you kick the shit out of them, take a photo, drag them outside by their ear then call police! I slept fine after that. I knew it would be better than any bat, pole or knife and the charges would be far less severe!!! Lol I just made sure it was up very very high!
I am a single mum and I think there is always a small element of fear as it is just you and a child to protect. What you explain does seem a little extreme and I'm sorry you have such strong fears warranted or not. Could you maybe invest in a dog? I have seen in shops a gate alarm to alert if anyone is entering? Also maybe sensor lights if your room is near the front of the house and the light may wake you? Just keeping in mind if you get a dog they may set off the sensors. Even just one of these things may help give enough comfort to at least sleep. I found after I separated from my ex and got my new house it did take a good 2 weeks to feel safe on my own (even though he was a night worker too and I was more than fine in the old house). Have you recently moved? Could you be adjusting to new location or has it been a while?
Good luck mumma - no one should feel unsafe or scared in their own home.