IM SHARE - My friends will tell you that I'm rarely lost for words. Especially when it comes to an argument. However, this morning, I was so dumbfounded that I lost all gumption to stick up for myself.
My GP, sorry, ex-GP, forced me to stop breastfeeding my 18 month old daughter during our consultation. He told me there's no benefit to breastfeed her now and that he's concerned about the long term psychological damage to her. Not only that, apparently I'm doing it for selfish reasons since there is nothing beneficial in breastmilk.
I could not believe a Doctor was telling me this!
If ever there was a time I could replay an argument.....
18 Replies
It's certainly very interesting to read all your opinions and I thank you for your support. To give you some background, I took my daughter in for her 18 month immunisation early this morning after breakfast. She woke up grumpy, was being grumpy in the waiting room and instead of seeing that escalate into a tantrum and causing a disturbance, I chose to keep her calm on the breast.
I needed to see the GP too, so already this was going to be an extended consultation. As parents, I'm sure you can all appreciate the dreaded minefield that is 'waiting for your appointment in a waiting room'!
FYI - I'm not a drunk, I'm not a junkie, my daughter is above all averages in all percentiles of her development and eats practically everything we put in front of her. We did BLW so she was eating steak before she had teeth! She has always had a very big appetite, drinks plenty of water and cow's milk too.
When we went into my ex-GP's room, he left and said, I'll be right back. My daughter started getting grumpy again so I put her back on the boob. Upon his return, he expressed his disapproval of my breastfeeding her in the form of a lecture with the main point being "there is no medical benefit in breastfeeding at her age" and concluded that I was doing it for myself rather than for her. After a brief exchange, I asked him to get back to the issues that I had gone to see him with and stated that no matter what he said, it would not convince me to stop.
After diagnosing achilles tendonitis and tennis elbow (due to over-zealous exercise on 12WBT!) he stopped mid-sentence and with a look of utter disgust said "look, I have a real issue with the breastfeeding, it's got to stop".
So, I concluded that unless I stopped breastfeeding my daughter, he would not continue to advise me on how to treat my heel and arm. So I stopped.
My son self-weaned at 9 months when I fell pregnant and I'm happy for my daughter to self-wean as well. It's taking longer than I expected and yes, I was also one of 'those' who thought "once they can ask for it, then it's just weird". Believe me, I'm not doing it for myself! I'd like my body back. I'd like for her to fall asleep WITHOUT having to be on the boob. I'd like to have more time in the day to get stuff done rather than sitting with her feeding. And as we're TTC, I'd like to be ovulating again. My ex-GP compared my feeding her to giving her a dummy and told me it would take 3 days to fully wean her going cold turkey. Sorry, but if I went cold turkey on her and refused 'booby', I believe that would cause more psychological damage than continuing!! Feeding comforts her, makes her feel safe and since I still have plenty of milk, she's getting all the good stuff too.
I have no interest in 'naming and shaming' and I'm undecided as to whether or not to file a complaint with the AHPRA. Despite being grossly misinformed, his intentions were to protect my daughter and he had her best interests in mind.
I do however intend to write him a long letter expressing my disappointment along with information on extended breastfeeding in the hope that he will allow himself to be further educated and cease to give such ridiculous advice to mothers in future.
My IM share was just to vent, certainly not to spark a debate on breast vs formula!
Thank you to the supporters, pfft to the naysayers and skeptics, I hope that's cleared some things up for you.
Good on you.
Thanks Kirsty
I missed ll the drama but good on you. I mix feed atm and am happy with my decision & you happy with yours. I'm sorry your GP did that. Its not their place, nor is it anyone else to judge your decisions. x
I only saw some of the comments and some of them got pretty nasty. It's a shame that we all can't just support one another without being complete A-holes!!
I'm happy that you're happy with your decision too! I mix-fed my son because we started that way after he had jaundice after birth. It worked for us, he was happy and exceeding all his milestones. We tried formula with my daughter, even expressed milk in a bottle but she just doesn't like it, so I'm not going to force her. Keep up the great work Mumma!
Whatever decisions you make should not be debated. if I were you and a doctor said that to me then I would've told him to find someone else for me or get over it. and would file a complaint against him. your doctor mistreated you. you are not to be judged by any professional, that is not their job or right. that is the actual problem with this story. not the underlying issue of breastfeeding ages vs bottle crap. I hope you find a better doctor, and do what's right for you and your children no matter what others say or think
It's unfortunate how the debate escalated. But that's the trouble with forums online. It's too easy to judge others sitting behind a screen speaking with your fingers.
Thank you for understanding the actual problem!
Great job mama, you really are doing the best thing for your baby's health & for your own! Yes the GP needs to get up to date with the benefits of breastfeeding & their lack of a use by date. Not to mention his completely inappropriate & unprofessional approach. Excellent plan!!
Sounds like you are doing a super job Mama! A letter is a great idea, even if doesnt achieve anything you will have at least had the opportunity to explain you disappointment with his actions. I had a not very supportive male Dr suggest I just give up breast feeding after a bout of mastitis. I guess that some men, even Drs, will always think boobs are for perving at and groping not for nurturing :-)
Thank you! Mastitis is horrible isn't it? I has to call the 'home visiting dr' on a Saturday to get antibiotics and he was so supportive of me feeding and was completely sympathetic of my condition. I need to find him again and see if he practices somewhere! I hope your mastitis has cleared up.
No need to name and shame, but I really think you need to report him - a letter to him personally would be good as well, but he can just choose to ignore that (which he probably will), whereas he can't ignore an official warning and/or report. Otherwise it's just going to happen to other women, and nobody wants that. I'm sorry you had to go through this - what a sad state of things when a gp is this misinformed and rude!!
I'll definitely write to him, but still not sure about filing a complaint yet. My parents see him as well. Our whole family has been going to that practise for 40 years. I was born into that practise. Granted my original GP has retired and this 'ex' was his replacement. I would hate to think my parents would be ill treated in future as a result of my complaint. Thank you for your support.
Pfft to the naysayers and skeptics? Ahh ok so you wanted to vent and only get supportive feedback, not anyone agreeing with the doctor? Do whatever you want re bfing but I think 'pfft' to people who simply don't share your view is a bit naive love.
Pfft!
Naive indeed.
Honey please, I'd have to be stupid to think anything I post on any forum wouldn't attract both negative and positive feedback.
I'm saddened that you were made out to be doing something 'wrong' when you were just comfort feeding your child. Some people just don't get it. Good luck for the rest of your breastfeeding journey and I hope you can get some sort of apology from that doctor somehow.
Thanks Angela, appreciate your support
can I arsk u have u stoped feeding? I am sorry this happened to u. I feed 2 of my baby till they where 3 and that was what a doctor told me to do feed for long as u can it best for baby the other 2 I feed for 2 half years just over that. Not saying anything about mum how can't or don't want to feed there baby's there is very good bolt milk these days
Great work Mumma!! That's fantastic!
No I haven't stopped feeding. Although, I am trying to cut down feeds during the day so I can hopefully start ovulating again. I am confident that my daughter will stop altogether when she's ready.