Hi Ladies.
So I have decided that I am going back to work this year, I am determined to sort out our finances and the best way for me to do this is for me to get a full time job, unfortunately I have only just started applying and I am already feeling guilty for my decision, my children are 7, 5 and 2, my oldest two are off to school, but obviously my youngest would be in childcare or with family, and then there is the possibility of before/after school care.
I have been a SAHM for just over 7 years, So the adult interaction will be greatly welcomed (I hope), I have found that only having my husband to talk to all week, can put some strain on our relationship, as I suppose I can get a little more needy that necessary, my children all started going to daycare at 12 months old (give or take) for 1 day a week so they could be around other children and I had a day of running errands with a little more ease, I think this has better prepared my children to be little independent beings, than it has prepared me to leave them.
I have always been a logically 'Pro's vs Con's' type of person, and it seems that the pro's outweigh the cons when it comes to working, except for emotionally.
I don't really have anyone to talk to about how I am feeling, most of my close friends either don't have children so cannot sympathise, or they have younger children and are not faced with the same situations as I am, my mother was a SAHM from the time my older brother was born, and so my parents are not very supportive of my getting a job either.
I have looked into part time jobs and will be applying for these also, but it seems everyone wants that so they just seem harder to obtain, and I would like to find something that will progress into a career, which will take more of my time and dedication, if I get a full time job I will be able to afford more for my children, and while i understand that money isn't everything, having two incomes would mean we could finally have a family holiday, (which has NEVER happened) or we can go out for dinner and order what we want, and not have to sit there and work out the cheapest options available, anyway I am rambling now, but I would just like some advice from working mothers on how they cope with only seeing their children for a few hours a day? Does it get easier? What do you do about the guilt? I am stuck between bettering myself and my family, or being stagnant but at least I will be there for my children
Thank you in advance, and please don't be too harsh, I understand most women probably go through something similar when they go back to work, that's why I decided to ask here for advice
5 Replies
Oh I just wrote something Similar. I am in the same boat as you. No advice but wanted to say you arent't alone. I hope we both get back to the work force successfully.
You get used to it. It's always harder on us than the kids! They have a great time at childcare playing with better toys and activities, and having little friends or going to grandma and grandpa while we worry if we are doing the right thing.
So I'm going to say, no child EVER ended up in therapy because mum went back to work! So if anyone makes you feel guilty tell them that lol
I think quality time is way better than quantity time. So things that can help is having things organised so when you come home from work your not trying to do a 100 things at once and you can enjoy your family time
How does your husband feel about working full time? I think perhaps a good option is going back part time to see how your children and your household copes with it. I also know that if your husband isn't supportive of you working and needing help around the house it makes it so much harder.
As a mother you will feel that sense of guilt at first but then when you see your children getting so much out of child care or whatever care you decide it will be worth it.
The other day I went to pick up my daughter (18 months) earlier and saw her laughing and playing with another child. She was having the best time! I know she loves me to bits as she wants me when she's tired, hurt etc but seeing her so happy made me happy. I knew she wasn't missing me and was probably having more fun than if she was with me. Plus they learn great skills from other kids/teachers and have brilliant social interaction!
The guilt is normal but when you do start work you'll see the benefits! Best of luck!
No advice but I just wanted to say good on you for getting back into the work force, we need more working mummas!