So just did my budget and after rent and most bills are paid I'll have roughly $40 a week to buy food, fuel and anything that comes up. Like my sons paediatrician appointment after Easter! Thanks to my ex husband changing jobs... Yet again... And not informing child support.... Yet again. I'm drowning!! I don't have any debt, no loans or credit cards. I've always paid for everything and have not once in my nearly 5 years of being a single mother have had to ask for help. My savings is about to run dry after this. My depression is starting to get a grip on me again and I don't no what to do. I don't no how I can survive living off that amount!! My ex doesn't care, he's a very selfish person even when it comes to his own children and I'm not letting him control me anymore so I can't tell him any of this. Usually I get by because I'm a good saver but that's taken one too many hits and has nearly ran out. I'm a emotional wrack right now. Is there any way to get help? I really don't want my friends or family to no, it's so humiliating but I need to keep food on the table.
Financial and emotional help
Financial and emotional help
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Health & Wellbeing, Money
16 Replies
I feel for you, we have been in this situation and it's so stressful. Maybe ask at your local Salvation Army? Sometimes they can help out with food, Does your ex actually pay child support? I know a few fathers who don't! I know u have probably heard it all before but shop around for food and bulk buy if u can, saves in the long run. Good luck, it's never easy
When my mum was sick, we got a lot of help through churches to help keep food on the table. Even though we aren't religious.
Salvo or similar organizations can help.
And all are confidential so no family and friends will know.
Contact child support and see if they can help with anything.
Contact centrelink and see if you can get any help through them. Maybe an advancement in payments.
Call anywhere and everywhere for help you can think of.
Don't be too concerned with whag family and friends think - we all struggle sometimes so there's no need to be ashamed. Good luck IM xx
Thank you for your reply, yes he normally does... But likes to change jobs every year. And child Support have to chase him. So it's a long process. I live in a small town in Queensland so I'm hoping we have the salvos.
Is it possible for Centrelink to give you a loan? It doesn't have to be a large amount, maybe $100 a week or fortnight until Child Support have been able to chase him up and then once money is coming in. You can then stop the loan and pay back a small amount each week or fortnight $10-$20 etc. I'm sure if you tell centrelink your dilemma caused by him changing jobs and having to be chased for child support, and not having enough money after bills, they would help you. It is a debt, and by the sound of your email, you don't want one. But it is with Centrelink and not a bank or debt lender (with various and enormous interest rates) and it may help tie you over during this difficult period.
How stressful for you! You sound like you have been doing great and very level headed despite the challenges.
Big hug.
Also, something else to keep in mind. Would it be possible for you to do some form of trading. Like approach church or community organisation and offer to do some cleaning in exchange for food goods etc? Or start up a local mothers trading group to trade goods and services (without cash, so you wont get into trouble off centrelink). You can probably take your children along with you also.
It's a struggle as it is working and not getting home until nearly 6pm some nights. So the trade thing maybe a good idea, but not for me. I thought with Centerlink you had to start paying the advance back straight away. And I wouldn't be able to afford to. I really feel like telling him off you putting our children in this situation! I can't afford to even continue with my sons tutor next term. I'm meant to be seeing a specialist because I've been getting chronic tonsillitis for over 12 months and I am stubborn and so am going private (less wait times too) because I feel like I've already been a "burden" on society and got raised to pay my way. I just want to feel better. I want to help my children. Why can a parent get away with this?! It's just another form of neglect and control from my ex husband. My mum finally got out of me what's going on. I had a huge cry and she said they'd help me, as a loan as she knows I won't except hand outs. How do other mums live without child support ever coming in? My daughter just turned 8 so have also been changed to new start. Which is $0. I don't want to feel I'm entitled to anything but this isn't a situation a lot of us expected to end up in.
I completely understand. I do not expect hand outs either, but i have found the new system very unfair. Not only have i had to deal with being a sole parent which is hard enough i also needed to get full time work which takes me further away from my kids at a time they need me the most! I just dont understand it! When am i suppose to have time to do all the parenting when i work full time? And im still broke so it almost feels im working for nothing sometimes. I fucking hate it!
I hear you! It's so depressing! If I didn't get changed on to Newstart I'd be a little better off. We all would be. If my ex wasn't so selfish I wouldn't be having this problem. I already got a hand out after going through cyclone marica with the food vouchers. It's humiliating but it cost me so much in food and water everyday for 7 days plus. I hate paying for after school care but I have to work.
How did I survive without child support coming in? I never ever budgeted for it, ever. If it came in it was bonus money. Oh and lived in really, really small places. We lived in a one bedroom for years and years. Kids in the bedroom, me on the sofa bed. We went to the park a lot! But actually it was really lovely. We lived off pasta, pasta and more pasta. 500gms of pasta is under $1. Make a simple sauce. And I run a really cheap old car. That I could service myself.
Now is not the time to stick to your principles, go public!
Lol but but. I am going to go on the public waiting list. I made that decision because I need to find out what's wrong with my son, and paediatricians are not cheap. We eat a lot of cheap meals, but still really healthy. I've lived in very remote places and had to learn to stretch out food. And to do a lot of baking. Moving has its costs, I've done that 14 times in 10 years. So stability is important and this is the longest the kids have lived in one place. I've gone from a person who was so dependent on my husband because he was in charge of the finances and his mental bullying to becoming so independent and stubborn now we've divorced. I was able to provide for my children and I was finally proud of myself. So lots of eggs, rice, pasta, mince and veggies are to be had for the next 8 or so weeks. And baking. Better go now and cook some banana muffins for school tomorrow.
Are you able to do few hours of work a week to get extra money? We have a butcher that does $1.99kg sausages and cheap mince and pasta under $1 a packet, Also we have a church organisation that does cheap food parcels called fishes and loaves not sure where you are but they are on Facebook check them out! Good luck
I do work. 4.5 days a week.
You sound like you are doing everything possible , centrelink defiantly doesn't help the WORKERS, they drive me nuts! I wish you all the best in this testing time ahead, keep strong you will find a happy medium and you will get through it x
I would call Centrelink and if they can't help, what about getting a part time job? When I was working 3-4 days a week (I'm now full time), I still received some single parenting pension, family tax benefit and childcare reduction and rebate. I was more comfortable than ever! Please consider it if you can :) x
I'm already working 4.5 days. Get Sunday & Monday off. Monday is for appointments so I don't need to take time off during work. Since my daughter just turned 8 I earn too much now I've been moved onto Newstart. I have been thinking about all my options and I can't find any. Just have to ride this out until child support catch him again.
Oh I'm sorry, this is where I find the system so difficult! :(
Can you get a job? Unfortunately it's not up to your ex to financially support you.